This is Peanut Butter Brickle. I first want to thank you for bearing with us this week. It’s not that we want to make anyone sad. I certainly don’t. But we also have to be upfront and deal with our feelings. It is a lot to handle right now, missing Digby. It’s a lot to accept. And I guess that I haven’t yet. So thank you for sticking with me.
Time is a funny thing. Some days you think you have a lot of it. Other days you wonder where the time went. The clock ticks away the same no matter what day it is and what is happening. But when you lose someone, that’s the only time you realize truly how much time was spent together. That’s the only time you truly realize how much energy you exchanged between each other.
And for Girl Person, she never realized how much of her energy was spent with Digby and for Digby. I didn’t realize how much Digby worked around here to get dinner to me on time. He worked to get treats while we were walking. He worked to remind Girl Person when breakfast was. He worked to make sure we all felt needed. He worked so hard on that and he succeeded.
Now, what do we do with that time? No one is there to make all that happened from Digby happen on time. And we have so much extra time. Girl Person has been doing laundry and cleaning to try and stay busy. But clean laundry without Dirty Digby is a waste. And yet the tears fall no matter the time.
When you invest yourself into caring for others, and they are not there, your worth can go too. Your reason for breathing can go too. That is not acceptable to me. That is not acceptable for my persons because I need them. No, I will never be Digby. But I can sure try to mess things up more.
I suppose this is an emotion I didn’t foresee. Because I didn’t realize the big role Digby played in getting so much accomplished.
It wasn’t more work to take care of Digby. It was more fun.
And so to cheer me up, the persons have a big surprise for me tomorrow. They said they are taking me somewhere I have never been and that they hope I will like. One thing is for certain. We have enough clean clothes for everyone.
–Peanut Butter Brickle