Illegal U-Turn

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This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle and I had to write a traffic report today.  On myself.

Have you ever been driving and see something and you’re like whoah! I have to turn around for that.  It could be a hamburger.  It could be some tacos or a peanut butter cookie drive-thru.  I’ve never seen one, but if I did you better know I would turn around.

But apparently, sometimes, it is illegal to do a u-turn. I guess since I am a Sheriff, I should know where these areas are.  I also guess I forgot.

So Girl Person, me and Digby were taking our evening walk. Fireworks started going off, and I tell you what, I am dern sick of them in this neighborhood.  People set them off here for any reason.  Holiday, paycheck time, or to irritate me. Mission accomplished. Deputy Digby does not put up with fireworks.  He flees like butter on a pancake.  He about yanks Girl Person’s arm off and tries to cut our walk short.  So Girl Person took him back to the house and told me that we would continue our walk, our date, me and her and that Digby could do his normal hiding out.  Cool.  I’m down with that.

I wasn’t even thinking of traffic rules, and as we were walking, I saw the most coolest dog on the block.  He is up in years and is not in such a good mood.  He’s kinda like the popular furkid on the block, but he is not having it.  He deems association with the new kids beneath him and likes to snarl like Elvis.  I really want to get to know him.  So as we were walking past, I pretended not to notice him and to act all cool too.  But then I decided that yep…it was worth turning around.  Illegal u-turn I suppose.  So I yanked Girl Person almost over and tried to get to the cool kid. Girl Person asked me what in the world I was doing.  She said that it was not Sheriff like and that I was about to have to arrest myself.  She told me that Elvis (that’s his name now) was a Katrina dog and that I should give him the respect he deserves and admire him from afar.  Well la de daaaaah.  So….I still tried to turn around as Elvis went back inside with another stink eye glance to stay off his property.  Well.  I already have an infraction for the illegal u-turn and I did not want one for trespassing too.

So let me get to writing this report on myself.  The things I have to do as Sheriff.  I am the law.  So I am letting myself off this time with a warning.  And a sentence for two peanut butter cookies.  Because I feel like it.

Ok. One last thing.  I have to tell you this as the Sheriff I am.  Be careful with all those fireworks tonight.  Keep your animals inside and be safe. That’s all for now.

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

 

Why Do You Have To Be Gross?

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This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  Why is Girl Person so detail oriented sometimes? I mean seriously.  Doesn’t she know that when she asks questions on our daily hike, I don’t have time to answer them. Especially when she asks me why I am so gross.  Why are you so questionable is my question.

This morning, we hiked at a spot with lots of stuff goin on.  Horse poop…take a bite.  Check!  Deer poop…step in it.  Check!  Unidentifiable poop…gaze longingly.  Check! Girl Person asked me to please stop messing with poop.  Ok. But I have to poop now that you have mentioned it so many times.

So I went to do my business when Girl Person so rudely yanked me off my spot yelling “Rattlesnake! Rattlesnake!”  You don’t  have to say it twice.  I’m outta here.  But I had already started to do my business which got all over Brickle and then I stepped in it and it was a poop extravaganza.  Girl Person said she had to save our lives and we would just have to deal with the mess. Run from the rattlesnake covered in poop…check.

That’s when I decided to try and make her job easier by rolling in more horse poop.  You know, its kinda grassy and clean smelling like that.  Finally, Girl Person sat down on the nearest poopless area.  She looked at all of us and just said “Why do you have to be gross Digby?”.  Again with the questions.

-Digby Pancake

Arrest Yourself

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This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle.  I arrested Monday.  It’s Tuesday.  You’re welcome.

This morning, we took a really long hike.  It was hot in this Florida place.  Almost 86 degrees and sunshiney and as you know, the heat makes me irritable.  Yes, this is a redeeming factor as a Sheriff.  But I was tired and decided I was going to rest a bit before our car ride home in the shade with a cool drink of water while trying to stay out of Deputy Digby Pancake’s stank, downwind draft.

That is when I saw them.  The giant dogs called horses.  Seems as though they were a bit taken with my good looks, and their riders too.  I can tell you this right now, if anyone ever tries to ride me, you are arrested.

So anyway, I saw the horses and they were apparently afraid to walk by me.  Well, I certainly wasn’t going to get up.  I was tired after my three mile hot walk and that was that.  The riders told each other that they would go into the corral until we got in our car so that they didn’t have to walk by us.  Girl Person asked me if I was ready to go.  Hold up.  My Sheriff skills are about to be praised.

Instead of me having to arrest these scaredy cat, giant horse dogs, they arrested themselves. That is how powerful my Sheriff power is y’all! They went into the horse jail by themselves.  I expect that I won’t even have to write a report.  I will tell my Deputy to suggest this to them.  Why can’t all criminals be so efficient? I am thinking that maybe if I stare long enough at everyone and everything that needs to be arrested, it will take care of itself.  What do you need me to arrest today? Let me know. Am I getting this good at being a Sheriff?  You better answer correctly.  Or else.  You. Are. Arrested.

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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Visit To The Farm

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle.  For those of you who have been our friends for the past few years, you know that we were privileged to call our featherkids family. Rooster Man, Sonoma and Izzy were a part of our lives and daily adventures.  If you remember, back in August when we moved to the beach house, we had to find a temporary home for our featherkids.  If you don’t remember, you can read the seven archives starting here that explain.

Archives

Ok, so back to me.  We have been without our featherkids for a few months now and we wanted to go check up on them as we periodically do.  So on Saturday, we headed on over to their farm and their home.  We thought you would want to see them.

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As you can see, they are doing so very good.  Rooster Man has about twenty new girlfriends and even has another rooster buddy. Can you imagine this? Rooster Man has turned into a nice guy!!

Sonoma has grown all her feathers in so nicely and is proud to be the fattest hen in the house.  Izzie is still up to her daily antics of trying to escape but now has new security.  Goats.

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Can’t say as I have ever smelled anything worse than these goats.  Or have I ever been so scared of the pregnant goat that tried to arrest ME.  What are these things anyways?  Giant, smelly dogs with a bad attitude?  Digby must be related.

We know that our fans love the featherkids as much as we do.  It took a lot of effort to get them to a place that appreciated them and where we could still visit until we head to California.  It was our intentions always to take them with us on the road trip to California, but decided after seeing them so happy here that this is where they wanted to be.  Their age dictated to us that the stress of another move was not fair to them.  Their well being and happiness is what is important.  Not ours.  So we will be visiting them until we leave for California, possibly in February now.

This was a long blog to just tell you that the featherkids are well.  I am a bit long winded today I admit.  Deal with it.

Have a great day everyone! And do not eat fried chicken today or you are arrested.

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

The Lists

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This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle.  Today, we wanted to take over the blog to tell you everything that we appreciate and are thankful for.  No big, long explanation about it.  My tail is short and so is my introduction today.  So without further adieu, here is our list.

Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle’s Thankful List:

  1.  I am thankful for my handsome. Everything else on this list pales in comparison.  I know I don’t need to elaborate on this as it is pretty apparent how gorgeous I am.  My shiny, black nose, my brindle coat, my rescue dog pedigree, my corn dog tail, my long legs and my coat of many colors.  Yes, I already mentioned that, but I used different words to emphasize.
  2.   I am thankful for peanut butter cookies.  Gotta have cookies. There should be an endless supply.  Peanut butter is my cologne.  Don’t try to resist.
  3.   I am thankful for Deputy Digby Pancake, my brother from a different mother.  He makes being a Sheriff fun. He doesn’t make my job easier, but makes it interesting. He is fun to police and makes me look good in the process which is what is important.
  4.   I am thankful I was rescued from the shelter jail.  That place did not showcase my handsome.  However, it made me have character and experience, which makes me a better Sheriff.
  5.   I am thankful for hiking, for everyday adventures and going new places.  I get to show people how handsome rescue dogs can be and I get to blaze new trails and arrest new folks daily.
  6.   I am thankful for the adventures we have had this year, time at our Country Cousin’s beach house, and the adventures we will have next year!
  7.   Last but definitely not least, I am thankful for my family, my friends and my fans.  I hope that you never get tired of my handsome.  If you even think about it, you. Are. Arrested.

 

Deputy Digby Pancake’s Thankful List

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  1.  I am thankful that I don’t have to write a list everyday.  Why would I do that when it takes time away from eating pancakes?
  2.   I am thankful for pancakes.  Stacks of pancakes at least three pancakes deep.  Don’t give me one pancake.  Just don’t. I know I shouldn’t write this on a thankful list, but I wanted you to be aware of my stand on this.
  3.   I am thankful for my brother, Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle.  He attracts the ladies and they usually have treats.  He also makes my job as a Deputy pretty easy.  He’s the boss and the law upholder and he does a good job.
  4.   I am thankful I got rescued from the shelter jail and that I don’t have to be a hunting dog anymore cause I am scared of loud noises and cages and there were no pancakes at that place or comfy couches with sheets on them.
  5.   I am thankful that there are pancakes.  I should have just said pancakes for every number.  Why are there numbers? Is that how many pancakes I get after I am done with this list?
  6.   I  am thankful for adventure and finding new adventures every day with my family.  Whether it be adventures in the woods, adventures in my naps on the beach or couch, or adventures in new pancake flavors, I savor every moment.  It’s what I do.
  7.   And last, I am thankful for all of my family and my friends and my fans too, just like Brickle.  We don’t know what we would do without you except we would have more time for pancakes.

We hope that everyone has a great day today with family and friends.  As always, we thank you for taking sweet moments out of your day to spend with us.  Every day is a reason to celebrate, to appreciate.  Never take a second for granted.

-The 2 Traveling Dogs Family

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Chair In The Ocean

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Thursday’s Dog Blog

This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  It’s been a ruff week with antenna monsters and pine needle pant monsters.  My paws are a mess from dictating all of Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle’s arrest reports.  Even Girl Person has been arrested, and since she makes the pancakes and peanut butter cookies around here, we did let her go on probation and gave her a sentence of making aforementioned pancakes and cookies.

I decided yesterday to take a break from all the arresting and commotion and go sit by the water.  I was relaxing in my Deputy sort of way while dreaming about pancakes.  Girl Person was sitting there too with Brickle and they were working on the computer thing. That is when I felt it and thought that I was dreaming.

Slimy slime slime on my legs.  Little legs and feet and slime slime on me.  I first thought that maybe I was drooling maple syrup like in my dream.  I opened my eyes real slow like and that is when I saw it.  Lizard monster on me! Lizard monster I tell you!!!

I jumped up so fast that I almost fell in the Gulf of Mexico and Girl Person almost dropped her computer thing.  Peanut Butter Brickle didn’t take very well to having his head stomped on by my pancake legs and he grabbed my collar. That is when the lizard monster jumped on HIS head and Brickle knocked over Girl Person’s chair IN the Gulf of Mexico.  Girl Person grabbed us and said we had to go inside while she figured out how to get the chair out of the ocean.  She said fish don’t need chairs.  Well, maybe lizards do so they stop sitting on me which causes me to jump on Brickle which causes him to knock chairs in the ocean that the fish don’t need to sit on.

Are you serious? I mean really.  All these episodes this week are gonna drive me to drinkin as Granny would say.  By drinkin I mean syrup on pancakes which reminds me that Girl Person needs to get cookin.  After she gets the chair out of the ocean.

-Deputy Digby Pancake

In My Pants! In My Pants!

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Wednesday’s Dog Blog

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle.  I have a warning for you.  Do not…I repeat…do not…take off your pants on the trails. Please.  Let Girl Person be a lesson to you.  She should serve as a lesson to all of us, except dogs, because we don’t wear pants.

Yesterday morning, we were lazy.  We didn’t get up on time and we got a late start on our hiking trails. Girl Person said that she didn’t feel bad about it because she was tired, and truth be told, she stayed up too late.  I’m a Sheriff.  I tell it like it is.  Digby and I were up on time and we were ready to go.  We got to the trails and you would think that because it is winter that it wouldn’t be hot.  Wrong. It feels like Summer right now in this Florida place. I’m not complaining…but I am.

So it was hot, hot, hot and we got lost, lost, lost.  Girl Person told us that we had to take a short cut to find our way back to our car.  I tried to anchor myself in the ground because I knew it was the wrong way. We got even more lost and Digby got even more hungry, and that is never a good thing.  We took an hour to get ourselves out of the woods, and by the time we did, Girl Person’s shoes were filled with mud, we were all irritable, and we had three miles to go to get out of there.

We started back on the trail and Girl Person gave us some water and we were set. Only three miles to go.  I felt like we were in a dessert with no peanut butter cookies or pancakes in sight.  How were we going to make it?  I didn’t have long to think about my hunger because that is when it happened.

All of a sudden, Girl Person felt something in her pants.  She threw off her backpack which had no cookies or pancakes in it and stopped.  She said that something felt weird. That is when whatever it was started slipping down to her booty and she flipped out.  Flipped out I tell you!  She started yelling, “In my pants! In my pants!” What the heck is in your pants? Do I need to arrest it or run for my life?  That is when I should have said, “My eyes! My eyes!”, because her pants came off quite quickly.  At this point, Digby had started to try and run down the trail. This Deputy doesn’t stare danger in the face, he runs from it.  And in this case I deem it appropriate that he did not stare the danger in the face because it was a naked booty.

Once Girl Person’s pants flew off, she found the issue.  A pine needle had gotten in her pants. Not a bug.  Not a snake.  Not a raccoon.  Not an antenna monster.  A plain ol’ pine needle. Now this was a waste of my time and tax payer dollars as Sheriff.

At this point, Digby saw the pine needle and figured out he was in danger. Digby really?  He flung himself forward in a mighty haste which made Girl Person fall flat on her face for that naked booty to be seen by the world. The weight of her booty stopped Digby in his tracks just long enough for Girl Person to pull up her pants.

Now, the next time you feel something in your pants, I would suggest you don’t take them off immediately and that you try to ascertain the situation. Not all situations require removal and that will be written in the arrest report. Indecent exposure is the crime.  Punishment is peanut butter cookie delivery and a promise to not embarrass us like that again. Now put on some pants.

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

Take A Hike!

Tuesday’s Dog Blog

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This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  And sometimes, my job is to make people realize that it is better to be in a good mood than in a bad mood.  It is also my job to howl at you if you don’t listen.  And scare you to death.  I have to do what I have to do.

We were taking our normal, evening walk thru the neighborhood last night.  The sunset was beautiful, and Girl Person told me and Sheriff Brickle to make sure and appreciate it because we wouldn’t be in this place forever.  She said that the colors were almost as beautiful as Brickle’s eyes.  He said he knew that, and can we please continue our walk?

So we started walking again and there was a man in his yard picking up branches.  Now, I have seen this man before.  And I have to tell you the truth, because that is what I do. I don’t particularly think this fellow is up to anything but no good.  I always want to  scare him and howl because he just deserves it I think.  And Brickle doesn’t think that his arrest record is clean and is on high alert.  Girl Person says she doesn’t know why we pick people at random to scare and howl at.  But she told us that she now understands in this situation.

There he was, picking up branches in an irritating sort of way and he was wearing work clothes.  He told Girl Person that he had to go to work.  Girl Person remarked that there was a beautiful sunset outside.  He said that he had to go and work…that not everyone can sit around and play on the internet all day like she did.  She really didn’t know what to say.  She could have said how hard we work to call attention to rescue animals.  Or how we make dog treats all day long.  Or how she has to make us a gourmet dinner every night.  But instead, she just told him to have a good night and he said that he always had a good night and seemed very poopy.  Yeah, I said poopy.  Girl Person wouldn’t say poopy, but I am in charge of the blog today, so I say poopy.  POOPY.

Now, I figure there is a chance he could read this blog, but if he his, than I guess he is playing on the internet and not working which make his aforesaid comments ridiculous. What did I say when he said this to Girl Person?  I mustered up the biggest foxhound howl I could make, stepped back, jumped up and knocked over the pile of branches.  Sheriff Brickle grabbed my collar and told me to simmer down and Girl Person just laughed.  She told us as we walked away that we were very good boys and from now on, she trusted our instincts when we didn’t like someone.  And if something or someone makes us feel bad, it’s time for us to take a hike.  Another hike.  Girl Person says it’s therapy. Well, can ya trust my instincts when I ask for some pancakes? And peanut butter cookies?  I deem that appropriate payment for a Sheriff and Deputy sting operation such as this.

Oh, and Girl Person? Get to work.

Deputy Digby Pancake

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He’s Back

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Monday’s Dog Blog

This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  You know, sometimes, you try to get some sleep around here and it is useless.  I can sleep through just about anything, but when the antenna monster comes back, all heck breaks loose.

There I was, sound asleep in my cozy bed.  The Sheriff had even went to sleep and was off duty.  I don’t know who was standing guard, because apparently a criminal decided to invade us.

In Florida, everything is big.  Everything, including and specially the bugs.  Do you remember last week’s blog about the roach?  The giant roach?  Yes, the roach monster with the giant antennas that caused all mayhem in our house? Well, he escaped and we could not find him.  That is, until last night.

Boy Person got up from bed to get a drink.  It was dark.  Of course it was dark, it was night.  It was as dark as that caro syrup the persons put on their pancakes.  But not light enough to see pancakes.  You know, now that I am thinking about it, why don’t we describe everything in relation to pancakes? I am going to have to suggest that to the Sheriff.  So anyway! I got sidetracked.  Almost as sidetracked as butter when it slides off your pancake.  Ok.  Enough.

So!  Boy Person got up to get a drink and take his medicine and we hear “Bah!!!! The roach is on me!” Next thing we hear are pills flying everywhere. Girl Person covered her head with the covers and yelled to him to get it out! He told her too late, it went in a vent and she sighed.  “Great”, she said.

Sheriff Brickle jumped up to survey the situation while Boy Person told him not to come in, that he had to pick up pills.  That is when the roach decided to jump out of the vent and on his head before Boy Person about passed out.  We were all in the bedroom by this point with the door closed because we have heard a roach can’t turn a doorknob.  I tell you, things are getting crazy here and if I find a roach in my pancakes, there is gonna be an arrest report so big that even the Sheriff will be impressed.  The criminal is on the loose again.  And we are not happy about it!  He’s back.  And we are about to pack our bags if he doesn’t move out!

-Deputy Digby Pancake

 

 

One Year And We Won’t Cry

The Weekend Is Here Dog Blog

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This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. And today? I am arresting sadness. None allowed. We all have to pull together here.
One year ago today, our Granny Person left us. She was the light of our lives. The supplier of peanuts and cookies and popcorn. No, don’t tell me these things aren’t good for dogs. When you are at Granny Person’s house, you gotta just eat.
Girl Person and Granny Person were the best of friends. The best. Age didn’t matter. Granny was at Girl Person’s first day and Girl Person was there on her last. They snuck wine together and whiskey and mojitos. Yeah, you heard me. I only know how to make a barkarita. So I didn’t drink that. Don’t freak out now.
Girl Person has been having a hard time these last few weeks. And she was tired of being sad. One day she told Boy Person that she couldn’t be sad anymore. She couldn’t relive every last day and the bad memories from last year. She decided that what Granny would want us to do was celebrate the time we had with her. Sounds like it would be easy, but it’s not. I can’t lie, I am a Sheriff. I won’t sugar coat things with peanut butter and say that today is not hard at all. It sure is. But what are we going to do for Granny today?
Every day at exactly 6:30 p.m., Girl Person, Digby Pancake and I would head to Granny and Cuddle’s house to watch the evening news, complain about things and eat a lot. If anyone happened to stop by during this time we hid everything promptly. After the news, Girl Person would tell Granny where we had gone that day, what adventures we had, and where we were going the next day.
Last year at this time, there was no “next day”. So we are making today the “next day” to tell Granny about. We are going to do a special hike in honor of Granny. It’s a place we have never been before. It’s a place she would have been scared of us going to because she always thought we would get hurt. But it would have been a place we would have had a lot to tell her about. And you will be able to see it on our Facebook page today.
So you will see that we will be visiting some Florida caves and hiking the whole dern day. In honor of Granny. We miss you Granny. Cuddles is doing so good and misses you too. We will always love you. In Girl Person’s words:
“Granny was my friend. Simple as that. Our friendship knew no bounds by age or time. I always remembered she had once been young, and my age. She looked old, but she wore her age proudly and with purple and rhinestones. She taught the me the beauty of a good meal, burned or not, and that it was delicious when shared with family. I remember every pancake meal with caro syrup and floured, fried bacon. Years later she would get on to me about turning vegetarian, but still tried sushi I brought her. She was a homebody, but loved to hear of our adventures and even our daily hikes with “the boys”. She had an endless supply of peanuts and vanilla wafers and coupons for any item you could ever think of buying. Seems strange to write down these trivial things that mean nothing to anyone else…but to me, that is what was the most special to me. I miss her like nothing else…ever. And I cannot wait to see her again one day. How can a day go by…a year….without her? It doesn’t seem possible. But today, I will celebrate her life and what she meant to me and I will not think about her death. She would tell me to buy a few bottles of red wine and diet coke to mix it with and we would cry. So maybe that’s what I will do after our hike”.
Thanks for being there for us fans. We hope you have a wonderful day and please..cherish the ones you love!
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle