This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. Question. What’s for dinner? I just got up, but you know that is the first thing on your mind too. If you deny it, you. Are. Arrested.
I like food, I do. But I don’t particularly care for picking up my food to my mouth at dinner time. I feel like, well, that should be someone else’s job in order to pay for gazing upon my handsome. I do.
Girl Person says she is tired of getting odd looks from other campers when she is feeding me and Deputy Digby al fresco. She says that she has to feed us outside of the Big Blue Treat Wagon because we get food everywhere, and it is easier to serve us on paper plates outside. Paper plates? Gasp. I know. I know. But anyway. Girl Person says she is tired of other campers giving her odd looks when she is feeding me. Like I said, I do not pick up my own food. I work hard for a living. I bring home the bacon around here and fry it up in a pan. Actually, I don’t cook.
Girl Person has tried to figure this out for years. Why don’t I want to pick up my food? Do I not like food? Steak, chicken, everything, nope, doesn’t matter what I am served. All I know is that I will not eat unless Girl Person hand feeds me. And if you look at me weird, you had bet that you. Are. Arrested. Unless you want to hand feed me as well. Plus, it’s only at dinner time I do this. I can eat matzah all day long by myself. Peanut butter cookies by the piles. Only dinner.
Deputy Digby Pancake certainly doesn’t need to be hand fed. Throw his food in the dirt covered with snakes and he will eat it. Girl Person says she knows I am high maintenance. Well, that is an understatement. How could this much handsome be low maintenance? Not pawsible.
Maybe in Wyoming I will stop pulling this. Or not. Probably not. Because my handsome will only be more at that point. Which, by the way, we will be in this South Dakota place until Saturday. Since we were here a little longer due to leaving rainy North Dakota early, we are going to leave on Sunday morning to Wyoming!!! So yes, it is going to be a busy weekend. Today, we are changing campsites again to a place called Hot Springs. Because, well, I am hot. Which is why i like to be hand fed. Do I have to go over this again?
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle