Feed The Alligators and You Get Bigger Alligators

This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  You know, when you have been cooped up as long as we have these past few weeks because of the rain, you start hearing things.  You start seeing things.  You start imagining things.  You start being hungry.  Actually, if you are me, you never stop being hungry.  And so, if you have to nap the day away, you choose to dream about things that you like.  Pancakes.  Pancakes with syrup.  Eating all the pancakes.  When it is raining, you can dream about anything that you want to, and for as long as you want to.  And it makes me happy.

I’ve heard people say that “the nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops.”  And yes, sometimes it does stop and you have to wake up for dinner.

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Now, sometimes, if you are like me, when you wake up, you are a bit groggy.  It takes a minute, or an hour to realize even where I am at first.  So when I looked out of the window after my fifth nap of the day yesterday, I thought I was seeing things.

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I am not sure if you can see it.  If you can, you may wonder.  Am I seeing things?  What is that?  I rubbed my eyes a bit more…

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Now.  You know that our friend Ollie Gator lives around here.  And we are always on the lookout around the lakes and the creeks and the swamps.  But it never would have been in my wildest dreams of even blueberries and pancakes that we would be camped next door…to…him. This was our neighbor?

I like this campground, I am just going to say that.  But, it is true, sometimes, we get neighbors that are loud.  Or neighbors that throw trash.  Or neighbors that leave their lights on all night.  So this new neighbor?  He wasn’t the worst.  And in fact, this guy was just sitting there.  Being all alligator like.  My only worry?  I would have to share if he came over and asked for a cup of something.  Like flour or whatever.

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About the same time as I saw our new neighbor, Boy Person saw him too.  He asked Girl Person if she had looked out the window.  And I wondered…what was the big deal here?  Seriously though, he had his camping pass in the window.  But then Boy Person asked Girl Person if he was real.  Girl Person shrieked, looked a little closer, and they stood there and watched it to see if he was breathing.

They could not decide.  But right about that time, other neighbors who have busted in our RV for the last two days decided to make their presence known too.  The flies.  The family of flies.  We get one out, two come back in.  We get two out, four come in.  And so, the persons got distracted as they always do.  Even with the new neighbor not breathing outside of our door.

And even though I was sleepy, and yes, hungry, I noticed what was happening here.  I wasn’t currently worried about the new neighbor, because he wasn’t that big.  Also, not breathing.  But if the persons kept getting the flies out of here, and our neighbor kept eating the flies, wouldn’t he get bigger?  And then he would be able to move and then come knock on our door and ask for flour which makes my pancakes?  I could not let the all you can eat fly buffet from this Big Blue Treat Wagon RV be open any longer.  Sheriff Brickle and I had to take matters into our own paws and eat all of the flies before our neighbor could.

Now, when you have had the ultimate in culinary delights, you find it hard to go back to the real world of flies.  I don’t like Shoofly Pie.  At all.  And Brickle either. So as bored as we were with the rain and the dreaming, and what was at stake with our new neighbor, we made the executive decision to just go back to sleep.

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They say if you feed the alligators, you get bigger alligators.  But also, he was not a real alligator.  Did I really need to tell you this?  And they call Sheriff Brickle the smart one.

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For the persons, spending their day chasing out flies, and inviting more in, while trying to decide if an alligator was real or not outside our RV put some stuff into perspective.  We had a bit of a crazy life.  And we wouldn’t change this life for anything.  Maybe there are crazy things in your life too.  Maybe sometimes,  you think that you are the craziest of all.  And you may be right.  But I like that.

Because I can guarantee you will never be as crazy as a person chasing out flies while watching for a fake alligator to breathe.  I guarantee.

-Deputy Digby Pancake

Did you watch Girl Person live on Facebook making Chicken Cacciatore For Dogs and People to share?  Watch below! Get the full recipe here.

Don’t Accuse The Squirelly Squirrel

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle.  I am always in an arresting mood.  That is not up for discussion.  Or debate, actually.

But even I recognize that some are falsely accused.  Like Squirelly Squirrel.  Yet, they get taken to court every day.

Now.  Every criminal has a mug shot.  And yet, because Squirelly Squirrel did not actually commit a crime, obviously, I do not have a mugshot.  I don’t even have a cupshot.  But what I do have is a story.  A story of how squirrels, even a Squirelly Squirrel can get accused, every day, of something that they aren’t even doing.  And it has to stop.

“You can’t be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet.”

Now.  First things first.  Squirely Squirrel has taken it upon himself to jump like an acrobat from a tree to the bird feeder hanging off of the side of the motorhome every morning to partake of the bird seed buffet.  Now, you know I am all about the details.  So.  Did you know that seeds are not only meant for birds? Ugh, yeah.  Other animals eat seeds, like the squirrel.  I say the bags are false advertising.  That is like putting on a bag, Brickle Peanut Butter Cookies and saying that no one else should eat those cookies.  Which would be perfect for me, but I am a realist, folks.  That is not going to happen.

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The persons watch Squirelly Squirrel every morning with the anticipation of Digby watching pancakes sizzle.  Well, actually, not really.  But it is fun to watch him. Also, we do not have TV.  He usually can’t hold on very long, gets dizzy from hanging upside down, and then knocks the seeds out of the container.  No, he isn’t the most elegant of squirrels, but then, who is he trying to impress? It’s not like he is on Dancing With The Stars. I could be though.

So you may wonder.  If Squirelly Squirrel is trying to take the seeds from the birds, why don’t I arrest him.  But I ask you this.  What if the birds are taking the seeds from the squirrels?  Who are we to say? Are you a lawyer?  I didn’t know if you are.

It amazes me how persons can think of one animal as being as a nuisance, like a squirrel.  But then marvel at watching the birds.  But all animals are amazing.

Have you ever watched a squirrel?  I implore you to do so, and as well, buy us some more seed because he is eating it all.  But I will not complain.  It isn’t like he is taking my Brickle Peanut Butter Cookies.  At least not yet.  You see, squirrels like Squirelly Squirrel have life all figured out.  They live life.  They have fun.  They spend their days eating and sleeping and chasing and climbing trees.  And through it all, it never occurs to them that they may be stealing anything like seeds.

“If we had a keen vision of all that is ordinary in human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow or the squirrel’s heart beat, and we should die of that roar which is the other side of silence.” George Eliot

The normalcy of life and those who live it often goes unnoticed by all of us.  And that my friends is the problem.  No arrests will be made today if you thank a squirrel. Thank a squirrel for reminding you that we all deserve the happiness that we find on this earth, and that each of us equally deserve it.

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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