Fake News?

This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  Well, it is Tuesday in this Florida place, and well, I suppose it must be Tuesday whatever place you are in too…although, well, Girl Person says that may not necessarily be true. I am already confused today and it doesn’t take much. Well, well.

Things haven’t been going as planned in this Florida place since we arrived for our “break”.  But, as the persons say, it is all part of this adventure.  They call it the Adventure Of A Lifetime.  Well, hopefully some of this stuff won’t happen in our lifetime again.  Like Sheriff Brickle getting hurt this week, my vet visits and scare a few weeks ago, and broken down Jeeps and Big Blue Treat Wagons.

As you know, we were supposed to leave tomorrow, Wednesday from this Florida place to start out on our journey to a Mississippi place.  If I told you that we were leaving tomorrow, well, that would be fake news.  Because folks, it probably ain’t happening, just like pancakes ain’t happening on this diet I’m on.

Ugh.  Fake news.  The persons keep talking about it, I get sick of hearing about it, and yet, I guess that we have been telling you fake news too.  We keep telling you that we are leaving and then we don’t.  We keep telling you that all is going to work out, and I hope that isn’t fake too.  Why aren’t we leaving tomorrow?  If I told you that the Jeep broke down again, would you believe me?  If I told you that we don’t think Sheriff Brickle is feeling well enough to leave yet, would you believe me?  That’s not fake.  You have to believe a Deputy. Would I lie to you?  Do you have pancakes?  Don’t lie to me.  I smell em’.

Boy Person says he has no time to fix the Jeep because our Big Blue Treat Wagon is leaking water and we can’t turn it on inside, the oven blew out, and the tires need changed.  Really, I see no reason that can’t all be taken care of by Super Boy Person, but alas, he is having someone else fix the car for once.  I have already offered up my services numerous times with maple syrup and pancake tires, but no one listened to me in the first place.  Oh well.

You know what we are gonna do today?  We are going to put on our sunshiney faces, our big girl pants on, except for Girl Person who doesn’t do that anymore since her shower episode, and we are going to get this stuff done.  We are going to fix it all, including Sheriff Brickle’s attitude.  That is fake news in case you were wondering. That is not possible.  If you ever hear of a report like that, dismiss it immediately.

So. What’s the plan? The mechanic person says he can have the Jeep fixed up in a few days, which hopefully will let us leave as soon as possible or when Sheriff Brickle is good and rested. We don’t know if the campground here will let us stay, so we have to see about that too. If we can’t stay here, we may just hook up the broken down Jeep and go and fix it somewhere else.  What can we do?  We gotta go with the flow!

We wish it was fake news too that we weren’t leaving.  Because we are so excited to go. Now.  For breakfast. I hear Gandma is coming to see us again, although we have already said goodbye to her two times!!  We can do this fans…please stick with us. It’s not fake news that we love ya.  That’s for sure.

-Deputy Digby Pancake

 

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Like A Horror Movie

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. Ok, first things first. I know you are wondering how I am, so I will let you know that I am still dealing with an on the job injury. Girl Person says that with age comes a few more aches and pains. I am attempting to arrest the injury, but in my past experience, I realize it may be a few more days until the sentence is handed down. I have been instructed to use my worker’s comp and rest up so that I am ready to continue our Adventure Of A Lifetime. Currently, our departure from this Florida place is set for Wednesday, but the persons have let me and the Deputy know that if we have to delay, we will, in order to make sure we are all feeling ok to continue. I will keep you up to date. Now. For the blog. Thank you for your patience. As Sheriff, business is first.

In our attempt to continue our rescue journey, we thought easing back into the camping lifestyle again would be a good idea for us all. It has been about five weeks that we have been on our break, and we have become a little, well, too clean perhaps. It was time to get dirty again and so on Saturday, we headed out in our Big Blue Treat Wagon to a campground near by.

Sometimes, you forget about things you want to forget about. Girl Person says it is like that with campground showers. Yes, our shower is finally fixed in the Big Blue Treat Wagon, but when you are in an RV, you can’t use as much water as you want to because that means you have to empty it out, which means you have to move your RV and it is a big pain in the butt. So the persons decided it would be easier to just go use the showers at camp. After all, there should be hot water and lots of it…and that was something to look forward to because this Florida place was having a cold snap.

As Girl Person got into the shower, the first thing she noticed was that she was in a horror movie. Yes, this was the first thing, there was no question. No nice movie would have a dirty diaper in the shower, or mud or a broken handle. This was not really a good thing in fact. So much so that she put her clothes back on, when in retrospect should have been done after the shower situation was surveyed. But as Sheriff, I am on worker’s comp and off duty so I could not intervene.

After gagging, she decided to try another shower, and it was not such a bad horror movie as there was no dirty diaper, but unfortunaately, you cannot have everything in life, and this shower had a lack of hot water. However, the choice was clear, this probably was the best choice in the situation. She wanted to scream as this was a horror movie, but decided just to be a big Girl Person with her big girl pants on, but she had none on, and so she got as clean as possible and waited for Boy Person to finish his shower. That did not take long either, because he had no hot water, although a lack of dirty diapers. He was the clear winner.

Now, when you camp for awhile, you learn to make adjustments. But you learn to try and find a solution as well. Girl Person decided to go see if all the other shower buildings in the campground were this much of a horror. She decided to try, because, well, what was there to lose? Well, she did not anticipate the long, dark walk to the shower in this Florida place swamp with many things in the woods. Although her imagination was running wild like a Girl Person with big girl pants not on, the anticipation of a good shower was all worth it.

 

You may be wondering.  Well, how was the shower?  Oh, let me tell ya.  This shower was hot and lovely and no dirty diapers and all was well in the world.  There were some more people in the showers in the next stalls, but Girl Person tuned them out and thanked her lucky Florida stars that she wasn’t freezing.  Then.  The lights went out.

When I say the lights went out, I mean…the lights went out y’all.  Everyone screamed, no one could see and no one offered to go find some lights.  Because no one had pants on probably.  Girl Person tried to lighten up the situation by saying that it was like a horror movie.  The naked person in the next stall said, well, she wasn’t getting out and finding lights and Girl Person said she would save the day.  She decided that since it was dark, no one could see she that had no pants on and ran for the lights which apparently were on a timer for environmental sake.  Not for horror movie sake. Not for Girl Person’s sake and or dignity.

Girl Person says welcome back to camping.  I say welcome back to living.  It’s this kinda stuff that makes me forget I have a hurt leg.  And when you are on mandatory rest, you need your entertainment.

Have a great day everyone.  I will be supervising and Deputy Digby is bringing me reports of what I don’t see, but if anyone has no pants on, I particularly don’t want to know as there is enough of that here. So don’t try and get away with anything.

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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