And Then That Happened

This is Peanut Butter Brickle. Today I am writing to you after many days of just trying to cope with Digby Pancake’s loss.

I know that you all have been there for us. And to be honest, and I’m always honest, I don’t know where to start. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to feel. If I told you I knew where we go from here, that would not be the truth. So what I’m hoping is that we can work on our feelings and expressing our feelings together. Sometimes, I may sound irrational. Sometimes I may sound mad. And today, I’m going to start back slow on the blog to tell you what happened.

First of all, I know you have questions about the day Digby passed. He went to sleep peacefully. While Boy Person was at the store trying to get him ice cream that day, he took a turn for the worst. I personally knew it was going to be that day, December 1st. But the persons did not know. So Digby waited until Boy Person got home. And although he could hardly lift his head, he looked up at him and sighed. And he was gone. Girl Person tried to do CPR. Boy Person tried too. But they had to let him go. Somehow I know you needed to know what happened. Because not knowing things is worse. And as the persons held him, Girl Person told him we would see him soon. And I believe that too. With all my heart.

We took Digby in the truck for one last ride to the rescue farm we had just visited. They told us we could lay Digby to rest there. It seemed like the right thing to do. If there is ever any right thing to do in situations like this.

The reason I am telling you this is to get it out. I need to talk about it so that I can concentrate on the good parts of Digby’s life. When he died, we all felt guilt. About big things and little things. When he died, we all felt like our world was gone. And I suppose you can never get rid of that sadness. You just add it to the things you carry.

Girl Person had been questioning if the blog should go on. The persons are tired and felt like maybe animal rescue was too hard now. The persons felt useless and guilty that they couldn’t keep Digby here longer. They felt like they let everyone down. See how I told you I would be irrational sometimes?

But then something happened after that December 1st and we moved campgrounds. We had to. We had to get out of there. And we felt like we were in a daze. Just trying to breathe. And one morning at that campsite, Girl Person walked outside. She thought she saw something out of the corner of her eyes. And she saw him. A dog. A light brown dog. An old dog. A skinny dog. A dog not on a leash wandering around. He looked so much like Digby that she almost fainted.

And she asked Boy Person if he knew whose dog that was. And he just sighed and said no. They went over to the dog who was hot and tired. They talked with some other campers. They gave him water and food. So much food we had that Digby wouldn’t eat in that last week. And the dog ate it and rested. The persons called shelters and the ranger and rescues. Girl Person was so tired from the last week she was crying and wondering how they were going to help this poor dog. And we couldn’t help but be reminded of Digby. Oh. Digby.

An hour went by and the dog was getting a little happier. Girl Person wondered if they could take this old dog. If no one claimed him, could we do it? But then a car pulled up. And campers jumped out shocked. This dog was their dog. He could barely walk. He had a ramp. He had never ever done something like this before!

How could he have done this? Because you see, he jumped out of a screen window high off the ground. A window he somehow squeezed out of and decided he wanted to go out while they went to breakfast. They were in utter shock he had not broken something. He was 12 and ill. All of a sudden thru many more tears, the persons realized their calling again. An animal needing help had found them. And he sure looked like Digby. It made us all stop. The blog would go on.

You can thank Riley here.

Sometimes in life we may not know how to go on or recover or even how to breathe anymore. I don’t know how we will go on. But I do know that I need to talk about it and I need your help. But for today, the hardest part is over. I finally talked to you about it. Thank you.

Digby did not have any bad days. None. Because his outlook was of Sunshiney. Although I cannot take his place and I don’t want to, I am still here. I still need to write this blog for now. And I hope you’ll help guide me in the way that I should.

Until the beginning of the year, we will be taking every Friday off to try and find some peace and comfort. We will have a guest blog from some of our favorite people and we hope you’ll enjoy. We know you’ll understand. We love you.

Until tomorrow.

Peanut Butter Brickle

14 thoughts on “And Then That Happened

  1. You did all you could to keep Digby here with you. “Love is letting go.” You didn’t let Digby go, so he let you go. It was time. He needed to fly with his angel wings. It’s hard. My dear cat, Peaches had kidney disease. I kept him going a year by giving fluids. Most of that time was pretty good and he so well tolerated the fluids sitting on my lap with his tail wagging. Then, he took a turn for the worse. I wanted to keep him going. I asked for a sign and he slept in the bathtub because it was cold. ANd, he wanted to be alone. He stopped eating. I knew I had to let go. That was the hardest thing I ever did. I called it a “birthday” and my friend went to be support. I lit candles, prayed as Peaches got the shot that would free him. I had to let him go. I love him so much to this day. I planned he would be with me at least in his 20’s. But, 17 was his age. My love does not stop nor does yours. My tears are as fresh as they were when I had to let him go. The love does not die. I have Harley Dude. He is so different from Peaches and is 15. I think I deliberately chose a total opposite in coloring from orange and white for Peaches to black white tuxedo for Harley. Peaches loved to be touched and held. Harley does not. But I love Harley and he loves me. I will always love Peaches with all my heart as you will always love Digby. Chris, the cat man will always love Cole, whom he had to pick a birthdate and let go.

  2. LouAnn Hughes

    Digby is sending you a message as to what he wants you to do. He is in everything you do. So sorry for your loss. Take the time you need for all of you.

  3. Christine C

    It is incredibly difficult to come to terms with the loss of sweet Digby, it is difficult for those of us following you, as he and Brickle have become all of our dogs too! We love them and you and appreciate your blog. My sweet boy passed in Aug of 2019 but thanks to your blog I learned of Pet Releaf products and I’m sure they made my sweet boy’s last years more comfortable. Know that you are helping so many that have senior dogs and those with younger dogs as well. After my boy passed, my other boy (who looks like Digby!) was depressed and somehow I knew his brother would have wanted us to adopt another rescue..and that we did! Maybe one day you will be ready to open your hearts to another rescue. Until then, know that we love sweet Brickle and we appreciate your honesty as well as your knowledge and helping us validate many of the feelings we also have concerning our beloved pets. I appreciate your sharing what happened with Digby as not knowing was concerning and I for one feel a little more like there has been some closure. Although he is still very much missed.😔. Thank you all for what you’ve been doing for the past decade and taking time to share your lives with us!

  4. I have followed you from the beginning at home making your dog food and dog treats. The decision to move across the country. The Big Treat Van’s arrival. The loss of your family members. All along the way you showed everyone that 2 unwanted dogs became 2 well loved, famous fur friends. Helped us all fall in love. Taught us to let our fur kids be themselves and not some ideal book dog. They are our friends, our family and always part of our hearts. We have enjoyed the journey and so has Brickle and Digby. Now Digby needs to rest and tell all of how wonderful living with you was. I am glad you met a lonely ( for the moment ) boy out on an adventure.

    Hugs to you all. Glad to see the Blog is back. I like the idea of a Friday guest page.

    Do not ever think Digby has gone. He is there in everyone of the guest blogs I have read since. The change in all the shelters. Along with Brickle, Rachel and Nate. Your love has made many many changes.

    Thank you.

  5. Sherrie Pittman

    Thank you so much for sharing about Digby. If you can find the strength, please continue with your blogs. I started following you in 2018 when Digby was sick with pancreatic problems, “the monster ” you helped me decide on a wonderful decision to our home for our “mobile mansion ” and live the good life. And my Little Nickle got sick with “the monster ” ya’ll gave us hope.
    Thank you for everything ❤

  6. Missy

    I’m so happy that you and the persons are going to continue the blog. We need you to highlight all those shelters that need help. And we need to help you continue without your brother by your your side. I mean, i know Digby is with you all the time, but not here here. We love you, the girl person and the boy person. ❤️

    1. Rise L Webber

      I appreciate your sharing Digby’s last day with you. I started following you when he was sick 2-3 years ago. I’m sorry for your loss. My Koda’s over 16. I know what is inevitable for us.❤🐾

  7. Theresa Bates

    I don’t think anyone should feel guilty about Digby. He lived longer than might have been expected after he was first diagnosed, and he felt good most of the time. GP and BP gave Digby the wonderful life he might not have had without them, and you were the brother he might not have had if they hadn’t thought you needed a brother from another mother. He lived to be 12, and Foxhounds usually live to between 11 and 14 or 15 years. In other words, for a puppy who was due to be put down just because he didn’t like loud noises, he lived a pretty long time. He lived as long as many pampered hunting dogs of his breed. GP and BP did that! And they made a throw-away dog (well, actually two throw-aways, because you were thrown away, too) internet favorites. You went from pups nobody wanted to shining examples loved by over a million people. The mission might have taken a breather and the persons and you might have been overwhelmed, but now you do realize your work is not finished. There is more work to do, more rescues to help, more animals in need of furever homes. And maybe Digby will pick out another brother to send your way. When it’s time. This work must go on. Yes, it’s hard right now. And it’s been non-stop for several years. I’m sure the Persons are exhausted after just the daily routine all this time, plus the pain and the stress of watching Digby decline, and not being able to do anything to help him. The feeling of helplessness had to be so hard on them. Many people would have euthanized him three years ago;; instead, the Persons gave him 3 more good years. Keep up the good work. Take breaks when you need them, but keep bringing rescue organizations to our attention. We need to be kept aware of the needs of the animals our fellow humans have abandoned.

  8. Patty Backer

    Oh dear Brickle and your family. I am so thankful you were there for this precious boy. Maybe Digby sent him to give you hope and direction. There are so many animals out there that need you. Know you are in our thoughts and prayers always. God bless! Hugs and love.

  9. Stephanie

    Having lost my own dog at the end of October, I am highly emotional any time I see that someone has lost their pet. I have followed your blog and I knew that Digby was sick. I think you should have no guilt at all…the way you cared for him and the experiences you gave him were remarkable. He decided to go on his own terms. My second to last dog did that too—-passed away when she was ready—and believe me, she had lived a normal day, but she had a heart issue her whole life and we knew that was a possibility. My most recent loss—well, I had to decide to let her go. It was so very difficult. I knew she wouldn’t get better, but I still relive those last hours with her. It is never easy, whether you help them pass or they go on their own. Many hugs to both persons and to Brickle.

  10. Sherri Murray

    God bless you all. So much love for you! Praying that you’ll find comfort and healing in sharing your blogs with us. That you will find it a safe place as you grieve among so many who love you.

  11. I am so sorry about Digby Pancake. No dog could have been loved more or had a more wonderful life with his best friend and two persons. You are such positive people and I know you are hurting but what you have shared with both your dogs is the highest level of love between two species and that is worthy of joy and celebration, when the hurt is a little less. Love Frances For the Cats’ Sake

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