This is Peanut Butter Brickle. Oh, the waves. No. Not the waves here at the beach. That’s not what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about the waves of feeling sad Digby isn’t here. Sad that he isn’t coming back. Sad that i miss my brother. Sad that I miss my best friend.
Some days I can push the sad to the back of the freezer section. But sometimes the sad opens up all kinds of thoughts and guilt. And emotions I don’t want to feel. But I do feel them.
And that was how I felt yesterday when I saw the shoes that Digby wore.
The persons have been cleaning out the RV. And out came those little Orange shoes. Oh, how I remember those shoes.
One time, Digby hurt his foot on some rocks. We couldn’t get it to heal. And so he had to wear shoes all of the time.
He really didn’t like to wear them. He hated them in fact. But he never quit smiling. He never ever did. I miss him. I miss that. I wish he was here instead of these shoes. I didn’t even want to look at them.
But then Boy Person saw my face and Girl Person’s face. He said he wasn’t going to be sad about the shoes. He said he was going to remember the laughs and Digby’s personality. And although I wanted to as well, and so did Girl Person, we couldn’t. You know, some days you just can’t. And then other days you can. And then you help someone else who can’t.
The shoes that Digby wore made me remember how fast life goes by. It seems like yesterday we were in the Jeep together.
How does time move so fast with the ones you love the absolute most? I don’t know.
Not even I have the right words to make my sad go away sometimes. The truth is the waves feel cold and shocking when I think he’s not here. Then a wave of happy can come and I feel guilty I’m happy because he’s not here. Grief doesn’t make much sense because losing the ones we love is indescribable.
The shoes Digby wore weren’t just those orange shoes. He wore shoes of positivity and of resilience. He wore shoes of encouragement to others and happiness every day of his life. Digby sang a song to everyone’s heart. Wherever he went.
Fruity has put on many of those same shoes but he can never fill Digbys shoes just like no one can fill Fruiy’s shoes. Or your shoes. Or mine.
Make sure the shoes you wear make a positive impression on others. Live Like Digby.
–Peanut Butter Brickle