This is Peanut Butter Brickle. I appreciate you letting us take a few days off of the blog this week. But after all of these years, we finally feel that we don’t have to be perfect all of the time. Especially for family like you.
I had my surgery on Tuesday. The days seem cloudy this week. One minute I was driving to the vet person.
The next minute I was walking in. Then, when I woke up, the Lump Monster was gone. But I couldn’t walk right. I couldn’t see very good. And j was really sick to my stomach. I had to be carried and I was scared. I didn’t recognize anyone or where I was. And I was in so much pain. I wondered if I was going to make it.
I wondered if all of this was worth taking that Lump Monster off of me.
I knew I needed a makeover. I needed a makeover in more ways that just getting the lump removed. That lump symbolized the heaviness I was carrying with me since Digby died. I felt bad. I felt sad.
And the feeling grew everyday and fast. It was consuming me. It was so heavy, I just couldn’t carry it any longer. But I felt guilty. Guilty I was still here and not Digby.
I was scared to feel good without the Lump Monster. But I couldn’t carry it and be my best for me. For the persons. For Fruitycake. And we all deserve better.
I have a lot of healing to do. But I must tell you. I feel better already.
I don’t have to carry that around any longer. I can honor Digby’s memory by being my best. And that’s what I will do.
The nights are hard for me. I’m in pain. The stitches hurt. And I may have more crying time. But I will get better. And you can too. Makeovers aren’t easy.
And there may be pain. But look past the pain. Look in the mirror. And make a promise to yourself to be better.
We will be at the farm for another week to recover.
–Peanut Butter Brickle