Dirtbag?

This is Peanut Butter Brickle. There are things that make you say, “huh?” Even with your outside voice. Or bark.

There we were. Trying to sleep in this Big Blue Treat Wagon RV. Digby was snoring. Girl Person was snoring.

I was looking at Boy Person as I always do. Pleading, begging…wasn’t he going to do anything about this racket?

But as always, Boy Person shrugged his shoulders in defeat. Years of trying to outsmart the snore monster only ever ended in failure.

But if I would have known what was about to occur, I might have relished the snoring.

All of a sudden, the quiet of a Georgia mountain night exploded in terror. Girl person sat up, and with her eyes closed, yelled “Get out of here, DIRTBAG!” Now. I’m no one to lecture on terms, meanings in dictionaries or urban slang. So who she was talking to, I had no clue. But I knew it wasn’t good.

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All Boy Person could do was ask her who she was talking to. And he may have uttered, “what in the world?” He was worried about Digby’s ears. But all Digby did was give a snort and go back to sleep.

Did Girl Person wake up from her exclamation? No. She did not. Did she remember it? No. She did not. But the rest of us will never forget.

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You see, we all have some strange things about us, don’t we? Strange is interesting.

Girl Person has been having weird dreams and scaring people in her sleep since 1974.

And generally sounding alarms in 50 states five countries. And Boy Person may or may not be tired of it.

But no matter how many times she wakes us up in terror, we wouldn’t want to sleep alone.

We may never know who Girl Person was talking to. Or who she was yelling at. Who she was calling a dirt bag. We may never know what a dirtbag is. Or will we?

Call it coincidence or not, as Boy Person tried to sleep the next night, his sleep was interrupted with nightmares. Scary, scary dreams of evil vacuums chasing him. Yes. You heard me.

If that’s the dirtbag Girl Person told to go away, I will have to side with her on this one. I can’t stand vacuums.

Boy Person? When you go to sleep tonight, take care of that, will you? Some of us around here need some beauty sleep.

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