That Stinks

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. You may think that I’ve seen it all. In my opinion, I’ve actually seen too much.

But the persons never cease to amaze me with some of the situations that they get themselves into. Especially Girl Person. Sometimes, and I just have to say it, the lights are on. But she’s not home.

On a normal basis, she’s doing twenty things at once. On a normal basis, she’s thinking about all the other stuff she should be doing. And then, by the time she settles down enough to sit down with a glass of wine, she’s still wondering what else she could be doing. I love her. But she really drives me crazy that she is never still.

What else drives me crazy? The stink bugs.

It seems as if we have had them as passengers since we picked them up somewhere in North Carolina. And they’ve never told us where to drop them off.

When I get off work at night, the last thing I want to do is work some more. But that’s when all the criminal activity starts inside. The stink bugs…stink. Yes. They stink. Every one I arrest gets escorted outside the window by the persons. In my not humble opinion, I find this punishment quite ineffective. Especially when they make their way back inside. I know they do. I’ve arrested Joe The Stinkbug about 100 times.

Yes. It’s quite the job that never ends. The persons seem to think you need to live in harmony with nature. But I don’t like the stink tune they sing. So I wait. I watch. I alert the persons. And quite honestly, I’m exhausted. Maybe Girl Person is exhausted too. And maybe. Just maybe. That’s why she didn’t notice that her glass of wine had got a little extra extra in there.

A good Sheriff knows all. Watches all. And waits. I tried to alert Girl Person that Joe The Stink Bug had went for a swim in that Chardonnay swimming pool of hers. But she was too busy thinking of something else to notice.

As Boy Person sat on the couch doing whatever he does, he took notice of Girl Person taking another sip of wine. It was hard not to notice. Because as she savored the flavor, she wondered. When was Chardonnay ever…chunky.

Nope. Nope. Girl Person knows her wines. And in a split second of putting two and a stink bug together, that pool of Chardonnay became a water slide for Joe The Stink Bug.

Girl Person’s reaction was not one to take lightly. As she spit out Joe, she tried not to call attention to herself and the fact that she had just almost swallowed a stink big. She particularly didn’t want Boy Person to notice. But when she spits out wine? Then that’s a problem. That’s a problem.

In what seemed like a split second, Joe The Stink Bug had went for a swim, got propelled down a water slide and landed in the sink. Girl Person picked him up with one motion, but not before he let loose with all stink abilities. Apparently, his tropical vacation had been a let down.

With just a look, Boy Person said, “you spilled wine all over the floor”. Not acknowledging the turmoil she had just been thru. She threw her hands up in the air, she waved them like she just didn’t care, and called it a day.

But it was night. And finally. I was. Off the clock. There was nothing more I could do here. As Joe The Stink Bug got tossed out of this RV, I just knew. He would be back. He was definitely a frequent flyer.

But as all good Sheriffs have to do at some point, I clocked out. I knew I had to get rest for a repeat tomorrow night.

Yeah.Sometimes it seems like we have to deal with the same problem over and over. And maybe we do. Especially now, when it all seems like it will never get better, make a promise to yourself.

First, acknowledge that this stinks! Second, don’t give up in the part you can play in making it better. And last, clock out when you need to. Spit out bad news when you need to. If we take in everything bad, we will feel bad. And that would really stink.

Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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