I have always been upfront regarding my lifelong battle with the Depression Monster. It first started visiting me when I was in the first grade. And it’s followed me everywhere. Even to this Italy place.

I knew that traveling in an RV to animal rescues for seven years with my dogs wouldn’t get rid of the monster. But traveling did give me a purpose, as did my dogs.

Even though I loved them with my whole being and with the whole universe, that monster was always there. It didn’t care that I loved my dogs and would do anything for them. It tried to take my love too. It has asked for my life, even. Many times.

A dear friend asked me today how I could love my dog so much, but at the same time want to hurt him so deeply by not being here. She was sincere in her question. And I thought about it. Can I explain how I feel? When you’re in so much pain, you just want it to stop. Like any physical illness. The pain being stopped is separate from anything or anyone else. And that’s how I felt about depression. But I had an eye opening moment last night.

I could not sleep. My inner thoughts of self debilitating remorse, regret, guilt, incompetence and frustration was over the top. Even though I didn’t say anything out loud, my dog must have read my mind. And my thoughts. Of this, I have no doubt. Because with every thought that kept getting worse, he became anxious. And finally, he got up, and went downstairs to get away from my “noise”. I collected myself, pulled it together the best I could for him, and went to sleep.

So how can I love my dog but simultaneously have terrible depression? I wish it wasn’t true. But it is. We are all battling something. Whether it be depression, anxiety, or a physical illness. Whatever it is you have to deal with, you are not alone. And you are especially not alone when you have a dog or pet that needs you. Keep fighting.

I don’t have the answers yet. But I am getting help. And I am thankful to be here in Italy now. As hard as it is physically. I didn’t outrun the Depression Monster…even here. But I can’t shake my dog’s love for me.

Giving voice to depression isn’t easy for me. I bring my own set of problems by admitting its hold. But as long as I have the platforms I do, I will let others know they are not alone. I love animals. I love the cause of animal rescue. But I love people too. I see you. I love you. Fruitycake loves me. Let’s feel that today instead of depression.

–Rachael

We are only two persons and one dog trying to make a difference in the way animal rescue is perceived. We want the world to see how much each animal’s life is worth. And we want the world to see how much the people who do the work in shelters and rescues are worth. 

We have told each of our dog’s thoughts and stories every day since 2011. And we thank you for each day you’ve embraced us and our mission to Make Rescues The Breed Of Choice!! We can’t do it without you!! 

This endeavor is costly for us to produce it every day without sponsors. It is. So if you feel compelled to tip here and there, we appreciate it. We also appreciate being able to put food on our table! And a treat for Fruity now and then!

Content creators and writers all make their living thru their audience. And we think of our audience as friends. We never ever want anyone to give when they can’t. Or don’t want to. But if you think what we do and will do for February and 2025 is important, we thank you!