This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. I’ve had many jobs over the years.

I’ve been the bark of homeless animals everywhere. I’ve traveled around the country and visited 48 animal rescues and shelters.

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Yes. I’ve even embraced my not so dramatic roles of being the keeper of peace at many dog parks and keeping Deputy Digby Pancake from clearing out supplies from every pancake establishment. It’s a hard job to be law enforcement.

But this week, and maybe for many weeks to come, I’ve also been tasked with an assignment.

I’ve been asked to create some rules for persons staying home with their dogs. And our family has a lot of practice with this.

Even though our house is on wheels, we are still together most every day and hour of every day as we move places.

It’s come to my attention that some are not experienced in staying home full-time with their dogs.

And because of that reason, I have taken the task of creating some rules for you. It’s only to help you persons, however. Us dogs have been training for this scenario for our whole lives.

Rule #1

Stock up on treats.

We see you’ve been stocking up on toilet paper when you should have been buying treats. Since you will be home more, we will require additional sustenance to keep our energy up. It’s going to take a lot more treats than usual to cheer you up. We are willing to do the work for the right amount of pay.

Rule #2

Include us on your video conference calls.

We all know who is wearing pajamas or no pants from the waist down. I would suggest giving us some camera time to divert the attention away from your wardrobe choices.

Rule #3

Realize that nothing you have to do for work is more needed than taking us for a mid day walkies.

You need the break. We need the break. It’s part of our job to get you more active. Do you really sit at your desk that long all day? We have to change this.

Rule #4

Barking at random when you are on important business meetings will happen. Learn how to use the mute button.

We are not used to the critiquing of our daily habits. We keep your house safe and sound while you are gone. Let us continue to do our job. You may also bark with us if you so choose.

Rule #5

Do not interrupt our naps.

Naps are important for everyone. Take our lead. And don’t wake us up!

Rule #6

Don’t be sad. Don’t be negative.

Make us feel like we are doing a good job. Looking at the news every few minutes cuts down on petting us and giving us treats. Limit the amount of time you spend learning about bad news. Just see enough to keep safe. And to keep us safe.

Change is hard for anyone. And you may think that staying home is an inconvenience. But you will soon realize how much time that you really do stay away from us. Perhaps setting new priorities will be part of this learning experience for everyone.

–Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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