This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. So. You may be disappointed that I haven’t made an arrest since that Maryland place. Well, don’t despair. The arrests of all arrests has been made yesterday. And I had fun doing it.
There we were, at a dog friendly brewery and having such a great time! We were even allowed in and with air conditioning and all! People were petting us and we were having a furbulous time. The persons were finally relaxing and I was happy about that. Girl Person thought that I needed to use the bathroom, which I did not by the way, and so she took me outside. As soon as I walked outside, I was literally attacked by a girl dog named Fergie. When I say attacked, yes, I mean attacked. No one could pull her off of me. Girl Person tried to remain calm, as did I. But this girl was not giving up. She had broken free of her persons and decided she wanted me for lunch. Well, let me tell you. I am more like dinner, and I am all booked on reservations.
The persons finally grabbed her off of me, the people who worked there checked to make sure my handsome was not affected, which it was not, don’t cry. And all was calm again. Or so I thought. Digby was inside with Boy Person and was a witness to it all, and by this point was trying to break through the glass to save me as back up! Did we cause an uproar? No, this Fergie monster did. So. Here is goes. Fergie? You. Are. Arrested. I don’t know what caused your outburst of monster insanity, but from now on, I suggest you pick on someone your own size, or who is not law enforcement. You are fortunate I am a gentle Sheriff who only uses force when necessary. Until we meet again, which I hope we do not, YOU. ARE. ARRESTED. You are hereby on probation FOREVER and a day. Plus two.
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle