Do The Hustle

This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  Some days I wake up and I think that I have too much on my plate.  You know, like a lot to do.  No, no, there are never enough pancakes on my plate.  Why would you seriously think that?  But yes.  Some days, even I think that I cannot get done all that I have to do!  And it makes me tired just thinking about it.


Yesterday, we got up, took our walk, and after Girl Person made us our eggies, she said that we had to do some work like make videos and see what animals needed help that day.  Then, she said that after we were done with that, we were going to go hiking in a new place called Little Talbot Island here in this Florida place.

I am all for a new hike.  And in my opinion, a new hike means new opportunities to find  new things to roll in.  New dead things to try and eat.  New poop to try and step in and roll in, and grab up for later.  And new opportunities to make the persons think that they are going to go insane.  But when your name is Digby…Deputy Digby Pancake, and your reputation proceeds you, you have to work.  You have to hustle.

You see, other persons on the trail may wonder what we are doing.  Why do I throw myself in the middle of the trail and roll around, they may wonder.  What am I doing in the bushes with old chicken bones in my mouth? Why is Sheriff Brickle trying to grab my collar and yank me away from those fiddler crabs playing a tune?  Because I want to eat them? I never said that.  But I hate fiddlin’ tunes for the record.  Don’t play it.

I actually prefer banjos.

But what the persons who are gawking at us while I am trying to work don’t realize is that I have to hustle. I have to give the persons something to do.  It wasn’t like I was trying to ruin their day by stuffing a week old, dead, rotting, slimy, stretchy fish in my mouth.


If I didn’t know better, I would have thought that I hit the jackpot.  But I guess I hit the panic button on the persons.  As Boy Person was trying to take yet another picture of us on a hill of sand, I seized the opportunity.  You would think that he would have tried to get it out, but instead, he tried to make me open my mouth while yelling at Girl Person to yank it out.  Now. Girl Person can scream, I will tell you that.  But she can also scream while throwing up. And that my friends is a talent that even a hustler like me can’t readily accomplish.

Upside down
Boy, you turn me
Inside out
And round and round

She kept pulling on the fish and pulling on the fish.  I just held on tighter which made the fish stretch even more.  And then with the snap of all snaps, it flung out of my mouth and right on Girl Person’s foot.  As I tried to hustle yet again and come back for round two, Girl Person kicked it down the hill, and Sheriff Brickle was done.  Done with it all. I. Was. Arrested. I looked at the horizon, realizing that my work was in vain for the whole afternoon.  Oh fish of all smelly fish.  I will keep hustling and find you one day.  One day.


I was right when I woke up yesterday.  I had a lot on my plate, but a rotting fish would have fit on it perfectly.  So today, as I contemplate how I can work my way up this corpawrate ladder next week, I will get my plan of action started.  You think that the persons probably won’t take me back to this location, I assume.  Well, a hustler can persuade.  A hustler can hustle.  My middle name may be Pancake.  But my last name should be Hustler.  I actually don’t even know what my last name is.  I thought it was Why because all I ever hear is “Why Digby, Why”?  Why?  I so I will tell you why.  Because my job is to remind you that when bad things are going on in the world, there are little things that happen every day that are pretty funny, pretty interesting.  The bad will never, ever outweigh the good.  Even the persons admitted that the fish incident didn’t make them forget about all the pretty birds we saw.


Or the trees.


Or the ocean.


If you think that this world only has smelly, stretchy fish to offer, you are wrong, my friends.  Don’t let the few bad things that happen make you forget about the good.  If I have to hustle every day to remind you of that, by golly I will. If I need to do roll in something I will.  If I need to eat something disgusting, I will.  If I need to shake my booty? I will! But I might charge you a fish to watch.

Tomorrow, we have to change campsites and head to Georgia for the weekend.  But on Monday, we will be right back here near Jacksonville for two more weeks.  As we keep looking for house or land, we will also be making some other plans! Stay tuned!

-Deputy Digby Pancake

Thank you to Balanced Health for letting us take over their Facebook page! We had a rough time on the road taking care of our health, and their scans helped even the persons! Find out more about them at


One thought on “Do The Hustle

  1. Jacqueline

    You were dern tootin, Deputy, when you titled this “The Best”. Because I am truly laughing so hard I cannot see. Well done, Deputy, Well Done. Hilarious!!! I love you all, I’m sorry you are such a “dirty dog” SOMETIMES, but I’m glad you were today!!!! xoxoxo <3 <3 <3 <3

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