Groom This.

This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  You know, it is easy to assume.  For example, if you looked at Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle on a cloudy day, you would assume that the weather was the reason for his moodiness.  Wrong.  He is just moody.


If you looked at Sheriff Brickle on a sunny day, you would assume that he liked the cloudiness, because he was moody and didn’t like sunshiny.


Wrong.  He. Is. Just. Moody.  He calls it mellow.

I guess that you could also assume that I am always in a good mood, and that I am always happy.  Wrong. Girl Person accidentally woke me up the other night, I was having a bad dream, and I decided to nip her right on the hand.  Yep.  Shocked, I know.  She was too. See what happens when you make assumptions? It bites you in the butt. I should have bit her butt. But I was only dreaming that there were pancakes in her hand.


But out of the many assumptions that we all make every single day, I figured out that most of them are based on one thing.  The way something or someone looks.  And so as we were getting in the car to go to the dog park yesterday, it made me realize that I was right.  No, not for nipping Girl Person.  But I was right to assume that assumptions were with us everyday.  You see, we get asked a lot of questions about the signs on our car doors.  I suppose that when you drive around with dog faces on your car, you should expect questions.


But the most common question we get is “are you a groomer?”  “Can I make an appointment?”

First of all, I believe in the power of advertising with a good marketing campaign, but I don’t think that potential grooming customers agree with our skills.  Because why would they look at our dirty car, our dirty selves, and our lack of grooming as a good reputation for a groomer?  And the more Girl Person tries to tell them that we aren’t a groomer, the more they do not listen to her.  It is almost like being a groomer is more believable than saying that we are driving around the country full time being a voice for animals.  Whatever tickles your ears, I say.  But even when you say it sometimes, no one listens.  Because their assumptions have already been made.  And they want you to be what they want you to be. Even if it’s not true.


I think that no matter how hard we try not to make assumptions, it is easy to assume that it will happen.  I know that when I see an empty plate, I assume that it will be filled again with pancakes.  But I am not always right about that. Sometimes it gets filled with dinner.  And that is ok too.

You see, everyone is different.  We may look different, act different, or react different.  That is because we were all raised different, or had different things happen to us. How are we to judge or assume something of someone when we haven’t walked in their shoes or with their paws?


I will tell you this.  I may not know everything there is to know about life.  But I know we are not groomers in that we cut hair or clip nails or clean dogs up. But we are groomers in that we are trying to groom ourselves for our next steps in life.  We think that we are somehow training for something extraordinary.  And what that is does not require an appointment.  But it does require we wait a bit.  And I am pretty good at waiting and taking it easy.

We can’t assume that plans will work out exactly the way we think they will.  But we will assume that it will be for the best. As long as I don’t have to bathe any dogs.  I only use maple syrup.

-Deputy Digby Pancake

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2 thoughts on “Groom This.

  1. Theresa Bates

    Interesting how people draw assumptions and just keep going after you say, “No, I am not a groomer.” “Can I make an appointment?” The old question from 25 years ago comes back to mind: “What part of ‘no’ didn’t you understand, the ‘N’ or the ‘O’ — or is it simply that you were not listening to me?” So many people are so focused on what THEY will say next that they don’t even hear your response to their question, even though that response directly informs their next question or comment. Maybe if they heard and acknowledged the “no,” they would ask, “Do you know of a good groomer in the area?” To which you might also respond, “No. I don’t live here.” Maybe recommend they check yellow pages, Yelp, Google, or call a vet. Vets usually know groomers, and often have posters or business cards for good groomers in their waiting rooms. My vet in Lafayette had a groomer on premises once a week. But, yes, we all should be grooming ourselves for our next adventure in life. And maybe, just maybe, many of us need to start by paying attention to the other half of a conversation so that our side doesn’t seem so out of place.

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