This is Deputy Digby Pancake. It is not often that someone can howl louder than me. I am a proud, rescue foxhound with a hound dog howl that can make the hardest of hearing campers call the Rangers faster than I can eat a pancake. I am proud of that fact. So proud. But I forget about our Memaw Macaw in this Florida place. I forgot we were leaving the comforts of the campground to park in her yard for the next three weeks. I forgot that she makes me work harder to perfect my howling. Because no one can hear me say one word. I forgot….Memaw Macaw. Nice to hear you again.
As Boy Person pulled into his mom’s driveway yesterday, Memaw Macaw was there to help Girl Person direct him in. Girl Person had to stop traffic on a busy road and this was irritating Sheriff Brickle already. Didn’t she know that we could have helped with that as law enforcement? But as we sat in the Jeep and surveyed the whole situation, it became apparent that we were quite comfy in the car. Yeah, we would stay in there.
You see, Memaw Macaw was nervous about the goings on, but she also knew the right way to do everything. She told Girl Person that her husband, “her son”, was hard headed. He said that his concern for where she could park her car with a giant RV in her driveway was just too much. She said that she would be just fine parking on the road. Don’t worry about her. She said that the trees needed trimming and that the RV might get scratched. She said that the persons could take a shower in her house, that me and Brickle could hang out with LeLe.
Then she said that she had been to the grocery store. And that no one ever came to see her. And that she was glad they were there. And it was no problem. She said that we could run over her plants to park the RV. She said don’t worry about the ants, that she would spray some Raid. Girl Person told her not to do that, that Boy Person did not kill ants. Memaw Macaw said that Boy Person was eccentric. And this my friends? It was all in one breath. One minute. Boy Person wasn’t even in the driveway yet. Nice to hear you again ,Memaw Macaw. I have some work to do on getting heard around here. I can see that it is going to be a long few weeks. And not quiet.
I still sat in the car with the Sheriff while Boy Person finally got the RV in a place that was ok, that didn’t run over any ants, and a place where everyone could park without hitting the grapefruit trees or the bottlebrush trees. And finally, as we got out of the car, we could hear Gandma Macaw. And Boy Person. And. Boy. Person. You see, Boy Person and Memaw Macaw together? It is a sight to be seen, but not to be heard, because no one will ever want to hear anything. Again.
One thing I have learned is that all families are different. You have Girl Person’s family that all can sit in a room for hours and no one says a word. Then, you have Boy Person’s family who all like to talk so much that no one even knows what they are saying. Sometimes, I hear them talking, and I think they talk just to hear themselves talk. And that is my gig, folks. That is my gig. And I am going to have to step it up a notch and raise it up a few notches. I have plenty of days to do this…20 to be exact.
As everyone got settled and finally started talking slower so that I could notice what time dinner was coming, Boy Person went to take a shower. But alas, Gandma Macaw had put Draino in there. After a lengthy discussion on chemicals, shower drains and general plumbing issues, Boy Person left the shower to Gandma Macaw. And I can imagine that she was glad to get everyone out of her feathers.
After a day like yesterday, you think that you probably don’t need another. Oh, but today is going to be just as fun. And for 19 days after that. I now have a mission. I have got to outtalk Memaw Macaw. Can I do it? Can Sheriff Brickle refrain from arresting our host? Can LeLe stand all of the commotion? She is deaf and Girl Person says she is 15. I believe that may have nothing to do with it.
So as Boy Person attempts to work on the RV and we all get to visit with our family, we hope you will stay with us. But I recommend a hearing checkup. Because I am starting to practice my howling. Now.
Family is family. When it comes down to it, the things that irritate you the most are the things that you would miss the most. Do you hear their kindness between the lines? I heard them, Memaw Macaw. So don’t take them for granted. Tell them…if you can get a word in edge wise.
-Deputy Digby Pancake
Don’t miss Girl Person LIVE on our Facebook page Sunday at 4 p.m. EST making a Peanut Butter Carrot Cake For Dogs!