This is Deputy Digby Pancake. When you wake up in the morning, and you have a beaver knocking on your door, you think to yourself. Self? This doesn’t happen everyday.
And then, you think to yourself, I am a foxhound. And I was meant to hunt. And beavers knocking on your door isn’t something that happens everyday. And you lose. Your. Mind.
Apparently, this Idaho potato place has a lot of beavers trying to block all the creeks and rivers with potatoes. Which would explain why I haven’t got my hash browns yet this morning for breakfast. The beavers have them and they even knocked on our door this morning to make it known that they had all the hash brown making material. So when Girl Person went to take us on our walk, I was determined. Beavers meant hash browns. Beavers meant potato pancakes. And I was going to have them take me to my leader. Which this week we are in Idaho, so my leader is potatoes. When your leader is potatoes, nothing really makes sense. And it seemed like all my thoughts were turning to potatoes. And beavers. I tried to pull it together. Girl Person told us that we were going to a waterfall later to see it. Beaver. Water. Beaver. I was going crazy.
So when we took a ride to the waterfall, I tried to forget about the beavers. Girl Person said we were going somewhere called Shoshone Falls. They call it the “Niagara Of The West”. Waterfall. Beaver. Beaver. Beaver. Beaver.
Not even a pretty and big waterfall not keep me from my leader, but neither can a beaver. Every picture we took, every video we filmed, I knew they were there. Every step they took, I heard it. Every breath they took that smelled like potatoes.
Just when I thought I was really going to lose my mind if I didn’t get the beavers with the potatoes, Girl Person told us a story of a man who tried to jump over this river a long time ago. A really, really long time ago because it was the same year that Girl Person was born. She told us that this man tried to fly over the river and didn’t quite accomplish that. It all seemed real impressive to me, you know this place, but beavers. Beavers. Beavers.
So this guy didn’t make it across the canyon in his rocket because a parachute went off too early. I was real busy pondering this for a few minutes, and yeah, I actually forgot about the beavers. But then Girl Person told me that one time, the government here in Idaho had actually dropped beavers from planes…with parachutes.
After this, I knew it was true. This beaver, one track record playing in my head would be here to stay until we left Idaho. Because, first of all, how many times does a beaver knock on your door and mock you that you have no hash browns? Where were these beavers dropped? In potato country. And they have been planning for years to block all the creeks and rivers with potatoes and take them all. And it is my job to stop them.
So that is when I really started acting crazy. Beavers. Beavers. Beavers. Since we were on top of a canyon, and I was crazy with beaver brains, the persons decided it was time to go. And as Girl Person wearily took me out of the car when we got home, I knew for a fact that my craziness had wore off on her.
As I was trying to ignore her, I made up my mind. Idaho? We are here for the next week and I will find all the beavers and have them take me to my leader. And I will get the biggest plate of hash browns and potato pancakes ever. You think you are so smart with your parachutes and your knocking on doors tactics. But you haven’t met this foxhound. Yet. Let me introduce myself.
-Deputy Digby Pancake