This is Deputy Digby Pancake. Oh, what a weekend. Sometimes, life is so complicated that it just can’t get any more complicated. Unless you let it, because there is a lot to be complicated about. And it seems like the more stuff you have, the more problems you have, especially if you have shoes.
Oh, the mystery of the shoes is like the mystery of life I say. You have something one day, it is gone the next, and you have no idea what happened or why. You also seem to take for granted whatever you lost, and wonder what you are going to do without it. Just like Girl Person’s shoe.
There it was one night. With the other shoe, where it belonged. All was right in the world in the world of shoes. It was patiently waiting for Girl Person to put it on in the morning to go hiking with us, and it was just naive on the complexity of life. It was good being a shoe. Real good.
Little did that shoe know that it would be the start of a complex day and a mystery that will remain. First, the white pants man person with the white camper and the white car got mad at me and the Deputy, and called the Ranger Person on us for barking. Girl Person was already upset about that and thought a good hike would fix all…until she went to put on her shoes. Only one shoe. Where was the shoe? She thought it was good to be a shoe and that no shoe would ever want to run away. But it was gone, and there was no one to call to report except to me.
First thing the persons did was look under the Big Blue Treat Wagon RV. Was it there? No. Was it on top of the RV? No, but why it would be there anyway, I do not know. Was it in the RV? Had Girl Person forgot she put it there? No. If it was so good being a shoe, it must have been better to live a life on the run instead of going for a run.
After awhile, the persons concluded either the white pants man person with the white camper and the white car who sweeps leaves took it to be mean, or something else happened. Was it a squirrel who wanted to show off that he could wear a shoe at camp to other squirrels with a dream of shoes? Was it a raccoon who was hungry and wanted to grill some potatoes on the barbecue in a shoe? Was it the Ranger Person who needed a shoe to throw at the white pants man person with the white camper and the white car? Doubt it, but that would have been nice. Did I say that out loud?
Now, there are more issues with this missing shoe. First off, this was Girl Person’s only pair of sneakers. Also, our Jeep is broken down and still with the mechanic person. Therefore, she cannot go to buy any shoes. Imagine having to be seen with Girl Person wearing flip flops with socks on the trail. It is not pretty. However, she feels that the most appropriate color of socks and shoes to wear now is white. Even more embarrassing, but understandable.
Sometimes, there are things in life that remain a mystery forever. I feel like it will be the case with the shoe. I only hope that the shoe has a good life, or had a good life and is resting in peace. Too bad that the shoe could not have finished our Adventure Of A Lifetime with us. Shoe? We must leave you in this Florida place. If we can ever get out of here. It is safe to assume that the longer we are stuck here, the more will go wrong. And we can’t afford to lose any more shoes. We can’t even walk to finish the trip now without a car because you are gone shoe. It was good knowing you shoe. Real good. But your loss.
White pants man with the white camper and the white car? If you see our shoe, I would implore you to leave it by our door today. In case you need directions, we are the Big Blue Treat Wagon with no car parked here and one shoe by the door. And raccoon? If you set up the white pants man with the white camper and the white car? We have no issues with that. He deserved it.
-Deputy Digby Pancake
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