I read the comments on our social media accounts. I don’t always have the time to respond to each one. Actually, I barely have time to keep up at all. But I do read every comment. Some make me feel encouraged. Some make me feel terrible. Some make me realize why we keep doing this. Some make me wonder why we ever started at all.
My mother always tells me that I have to expect criticism when I have chosen this way of life. And I get that. She’s right. She’s totally right. But sometimes, even after writing the dog blog for over a decade…each and every weekday…I can’t find the words. And maybe I haven’t explained well enough why I want to personally move to Italy. And why now. So I will attempt to start explaining a bit more. I don’t expect anyone to fully understand. Because even I don’t. But I will tell you what is in my heart.
From the time I was a child, I took it upon myself to take care of everyone. That responsibility was not put upon me. I chose to assume that role perhaps out of a need or my own personality. Whatever the case, I carried the burden of making sure everyone was ok for my whole life. I still do that now, to my detriment. A stable marriage for over 29 years (yes, I got married at 19) has given me encouragement from my husband to take care of myself more. And although I find this one of the hardest things to do ever, I appreciate his efforts. And I suspect I’ll always battle this. Which brings me to why Italy? Why now? Because the me now wants to go. And i owe it to the me now and the me then, who never took what she wanted as important. If I am to work at me and being good for others, I have to do this. And if I don’t do it now, well, I’ll always find an excuse not to.
Of course, if my dogs, especially my senior dog Brickle cannot safely get there, it is all not going to happen. We’ve already made many adjustments to our planning and travel. Currently, we are waiting on airfare we can afford for our dogs to ride with us in the cabin. It’s all up in the air literally and figuratively. And all this has to be worked out for them. If you’ve read our blogs, you know we will do what we have to do for our dogs. But I wouldn’t be doing this as well if I didn’t think they would enjoy Italy too, the little house we bought with them in mind and new adventures. We know our dogs the best. And I won’t apologize for what I want for them that may differ from what others think is best for them. I know best in this situation. Plain and simple.
But why Italy in the first place? I’ve always loved Italy. The language, the food, the way of life and people. I have dreamed of experiencing it by living there since I was little. But I always pushed it to the back of my mind. I don’t want to do that anymore. And I won’t.
We all want different things. And that’s wonderful! And sometimes our heart just loves someone or something we can’t fully explain the reasons behind. But I think we all can encourage one another to value ourselves and give ourselves permission to live life fully. I give you that wish. And I hope you will give me mine. And I hope if we do make it to that Italy place, you will join us.
One of the things that hurts me the most is others thinking we won’t help animals in the USA still because we are moving. This isn’t true. And we will be making even more of an effort to expand our efforts. More on that soon. I’ll be exploring and explaining more of my thoughts on Italy in the next few weeks. I hope you’ll allow me the space to do so.