This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. Sometimes, someone needs so much arresting that you don’t even need the report. Sometimes, someone needs the law laid down firmly. Even if your name isn’t Sally. It’s Odie.
You think that you are having a peaceful, uneventful walk thru the campground after taking a swim. You think. You think that there is no danger waiting for you around that corner. You take the snapshot in your mind of a bathroom facility that is unassuming, not dangerous by any sort of the imagination. And then. You go around that corner. And he’s there. Waiting. Not in a Richard Marx sort of way at all.
Now. We have walked by this guy before. Odie. Oh, we know his name because his person has to hold him back from us as we pass by. No, he isn’t a big fellow. In fact, he is knee high to a grasshopper as Granny used to say. But nonetheless, I am not one to cause trouble, look for trouble or want trouble. I take care of trouble.
However, when trouble is on a leash, attached to a post outside of a bathroom, I steer clear of said trouble. Named Odie. He meant business y’all. And without his person there, I will tell you this. That leash had no chance. And so Odie. He saw a chance. And he took it.
Odie twirled and he growled and he snarled and he lunged. Deputy Digby and I kept walking, which I can only assume was not acceptable to Odie. And as he twirled just one more time, his leash came off that post. And I knew as soon as the episode occurred. This wasn’t gonna be pretty. Well, I am always pretty. But not the episode. And so as he ran toward us with the vigor of the wind sweeping over a hot trash heap, which was right next to the bathroom by the way, we froze. Like ice. That is all we could do.
Girl Person knew that she had a choice. Try to grab Odie’s leash, but nope. His teeth on our legs said nope. She knew that she could scream though. And scream she did. She yelled to anyone, anyone that would hear, preferably not in the bathroom with his pants off, that Odie was loose. She tried to keep cars from hitting us all on the road, yet, they seemed to slow down when they saw the commotion. Some may have even turned around. And as a last resort, she yelled, “Your dog is loose!!!!”. There was no choice. And out came Odie’s person. Odie’s half pant wearing person.
Now, I never do anything half way. You know that. And wearing pants or wearing pants half way just isn’t necessary at all. Unless you are chasing a dog named Odie who is biting my feet. You should wear pants for everyone’s sake.
So as Odie saw his person running towards him with a sight to behold, Odie knew his gig was up. And it was time to pull the pants up. His person said no words. Only one. Odie. And everyone just knew that no words were necessary. It was time to move along. And my arrest report? It needed no words either. I simply entitled it, “The Episode”. It is not rated PG. It is rated PG-Odie. That’s a scary, scary rating.
Now, you would have thought that everyone would have been mad. Everyone would have been angry. No need for anger in some places. Certainly not outside a campground bathroom. Sometimes, you just gotta laugh. Unless you are Odie.
So the next time you see an unassuming bathroom facility and a dog that is waiting…right there waiting…I suggest that you walk just a little bit faster. A lot faster. Or cover your eyes.
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle
Don’t miss Girl Person LIVE on our Facebook page today cooking up an International dish for dogs. I love anything made with coconut and today, we travel to Samoa and make a dog friendly treat! Join us at 1 pm ET on Facebook!