This is Deputy Digby Pancake. Girl Person says that I have a hard head. But I tell you what, sometimes, my hard head comes in handy. Especially when there is can of cashews on the dashboard.
It amazes me how much stuff we have to take with us whenever we go anywhere. It takes Girl Person an hour just to get our water packed, and our snacks and our dog bags. Then she has to pack all of the person stuff like water for them, and sunglasses and hats and…cashews. Because apparently cashews are highly necessary when you go hiking. But I know this…even with a Digby sized appetite, I didn’t need those cashews that bad yesterday.
There I was. All wore out from our hikes and our travels over to Fernandina Beach, Florida.
The persons were getting all of the stuff out from the car that they had put in it. Ugh. Question. Why don’t they just leave it in there for next time, perhaps? Does a Deputy have to think of everything around here? It is kind of like how Girl Person has to make pancakes everyday. Can she not just make them and leave them out all of the time so that there is a never ending supply of said pancakes?
I was thinking about all this and wondering how long it was going to be before I could get out of this car, and I couldn’t wait any longer, and so I just jumped in the front seat. And that is when it happened. A big jar of cashews. Fell. On. My. Head.
Now, this would be irritating under normal circumstances. But when you are hungry for breakfast after a long ride and hike, you think about throwing that jar out of the window. After you eat the cashews. And so I tried to get the lid off, but as Girl Person was apologizing to me left and right and up and down for the tragedy that had just occurred, I knew what I had to do. I had to be a big boy and let the Sheriff arrest her for leaving those cashews on the dash. And we would find a way. You know. To eat the cashews. I couldn’t trust that my breakfast, and now brunch was going to ever occur.
About this time, she put the cashew jar back on the dash. Did she not just see what had happened? As Sheriff Brickle was jumping up in the driver’s seat to arrest her, he knocked it off this time. And since the Sheriff’s gracefulness is only rivaled by his attitude of steal, the jar of cashews exploded with the vengeance of a Jack In The Box. And it wasn’t pretty my friends. It was. Not. Pretty.
I hear that cashews are pretty expensive, especially when they are organic. I also hear that good sense is worth more than gold, and so something was surely lacking around here. Girl Person got back to the car with two hungry dogs and many less cashews. Now. The disclaimer is that we didn’t eat them all, because time ran short. But I wanted to run away when Girl Person saw that her clumsy actions had set us up for disaster. If she had wanted a different outcome for that jar of cashews, she shouldn’t have put it up there twice. She needed to look in the mirror to see who needed to be arrested. Cause it wasn’t law enforcement.
You know, let me tell you. Life is complicated for persons. They have to work and buy things and worry about those things. They have to carry a lot around with them and do a lot of work. Sometimes, it is easy for persons to get into a routine. It seems like the easy thing to do. The faster thing to do. Because change is hard when you are so busy. But if you are unhappy about some part of your life, and the way it is going, continuing to do the same things, but expecting a different outcome isn’t going to work. As many times as you put that jar of cashews on the dash, chances are, they are going to fall every time. So if you want to keep your organic cashews, put them somewhere else. And don’t blame anyone else if they fall again. It’s on you.
And please. Don’t ever tell me a hard head is a bad thing. It has served me well. Now serve me some pancakes. But you can leave out the cashews.
-Deputy Digby Pancake
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