I Guess I’ll Starve Then.

This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  If you woke up hungry today, like me, you are hungry.

And if you are like me, well, nothing will help my hunger except a big ol’ stack of pancakes.  And maybe bacon.  And maybe another stack.  And another slice of bacon.  Is there ever enough?  It seems like I am starving all of the time.  Feed me and I am hungry five minutes later.  Food is just good y’all.  And that’s why I had no desire to go on the trail we went on yesterday.  None.


If there was ever a trail that I knew right away that I would not like, it was this one.


I mean, why would anyone choose to go on a trail with this name?

In touch with the ground
I’m on the hunt down I’m after you
Smell like I sound I’m lost in a crowd
And I’m hungry like the wolf

The only thing I could figure was that if we didn’t eat snacks on the trail that when we got to the end of the trail, there would be a giant stack of pancakes.  Or bacon. Or both.  A boy like me can work up an appetite walking to the fridge, but a trail really makes me starve.  So I decided that this must be the case.

Scent and a sound
I’m lost and I’m found
And I’m hungry like the wolf

I mean, Girl Person wouldn’t take me and Sheriff Brickle’s boney butt on a hike with no food…right?  Maybe this creek would be a reward for starving a mile.  Maybe there would be maple syrup flowing over its rocks.

Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I’m hungry like the wolf

Well, we walked without food for what seemed like an eternity, like a mile, and when we rounded the corner, and I saw it, well, I knew I was in fact going to starve.  There was another Oregon waterfall.

Stalked in the forest too close to hide
I’ll be upon you by the moonlight side
Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo

And I have decided that I am now afraid of waterfalls, and well, I. Was. Out.

I knew right then and there that even if there were pancakes and bacon tumbling down this mountain and into the creek, that I would starve. Starvation Creek?  Not. Fun.

Oregon may be full of beauty and scary waterfalls around every corner, but I have yet to find my tumbling pancakes and bacon over the edge with the maple syrup creek. Starvation Creek certainly lived up to its name.

Burning the ground I break from the crowd
I’m on the huntdown I’m after you
Scent and a sound
I’m lost and I’m found
And I’m hungry like the wolf

So Oregon?  It is time for us to leave this campground today.  We have other places to go where I don’t have to starve.  And yeah.  We are going to miss this train every 15 minutes.  Columbia River Gorge? It’s been fun.

Where are we going today? Well, we don’t know.  First off, the grocery store.  And then, since we can’t find a campsite for the weekend, we may just drive to where we do find one.  I am going to have to eat plenty of pancakes today to make it through.  If you wanna come with us today, there will be a pancake check at the door.

-Deputy Digby Pancake

Don’t miss Girl Person “live” on our Facebook page Sunday at 8 pm EST making an Oregon dog treat! Brought to you by The Farmer’s Dog

Pasted image at 2017_07_18 02_11 PM




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