This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. Yes, I know. In Texas, I have the honorary title of Texas Ranger this week, which I gave to myself. But alas, this title has gotten on my nerves and I am taking the title away from myself. It is too. Much. Work.
I received all of your arrest recommendations yesterday. And I did take them all into consideration of what next you wanted arrested here and beyond. Consider everything you wanted arrested…arrested. Everything. Is. Arrested.
You are welcome, but that about did me in. The last straw that made me crave a peanut butter milkshake since you need a straw for that was that someone told me that my tail needed to be arrested because it wasn’t big enough in this state of Texas. Well you know what then? That fan. IS. ARRESTED. And writing in capital letters is exhausting enough. Don’t mess with Texas? Don’t mess with the Sheriff in Texas. Y’all.
Truth be told, all of these extra job responsibilities this week were too much. Here we are, taking a few extra days in this Texas place to rest a little. Even the persons are too. Well. They are trying. But they aren’t doing a very good job at it.
And I decided that since none of us know how to relax, I would arrest the internet which we can hardly use here. As well, I arrested all the work that the persons do every day. I arrested the taxes that Girl Person keeps looking at and I don’t know why she is doing that because it is pretty boring. And I arrested all of you so that you have to relax with us this week…until Saturday. I also arrested one more thing. Our schedule.
You may know that every week, we are in a different state. Well, we have nine more to go. And the states are getting bigger, the drives are getting longer, and all of us in this family are wearing out. We still have to make it to the Grand Canyon..and well. This may be us if we don’t take it slower.
It is too much for me, most importantly, to make these long, long drives, work, arrest, go to the shelters and the persons work literally through every Saturday night to make their videos and rescue article…and then we have to go again.
Truth be told, and the Sheriff is about truth, at the beginning of this trip we pushed ourselves. In the middle of this trip, we pushed ourselves. But at the end of this trip? Not gonna do it. Girl Person and Boy Person’s first priority is me and Digby. And that is how it should be. They know we are tired too, and so…for the remaining nine states on this Adventure Of A Lifetime, you may notice our schedule changing a bit. It may take us up to two weeks for each state, but some states may not. The drives are more than twice as long, and we simply need to be healthy and happy and handsome. The last part there isn’t hard to do, but the rest is important as well. Don’t even mention the Big Blue Treat Wagon or the Jeep making it to the end of this trip. We gotta make sure they are ok too.
Now. This schedule change does not mean the trip is going to go on forever. We are ready to finish to see what is next..which we have no idea what is next after this. We are not worried about that, well, the persons are a little. But worrying seems to interrupt the time we have left on this trip, which we may never get to do again. So although worrying is what I do, that is arrested too. And that will be my last arrest, unless there is an emergency, until Saturday. If you need me, don’t call me. The boys are on a break.
Texas is too beautiful of a place to take for granted. The falls and the wineries and the scenery in this Texas Hill Country are breathtaking.
Not as breathtaking as me, but close. If there ever was a place that my corn dog tail shined like a diamond, which we do not have since it was stolen in Arkansas, it was here. I could get used to this. But we have nine more states to go. Nine more rescues to visit. And nine more places to make arrests, far and wide. I may be coming for you if you are the one that talked about my tail. And if you didn’t, and you thought it anyway, one last thing before my break. YOU. ARE. ARRESTED.
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle