This is Deputy Digby Pancake. Life is full of surprises, that is for sure. Sometimes, the surprises are good, like when you find a little extra butter under that pancake. Sometimes, the surprises are bad, like when your persons tell you that you have to cut back on the pancakes. But life is never boring, and even if something gets taken away, usually, that is filled with something unexpected like fruit filling in a doughnut. Oh, doughnut…oh, pancakes. How I miss you already on this diet.
Yesterday, Sheriff Brickle and I thought we were going on our usual route of looking for people to arrest on our way to hiking. But Girl Person drove us to a farm place and explained to us that her family lived there and that we were going to get to meet some cows and horses and chickens in this Florida place. Remember Rooster Man, Izzie, Sonoma and Pecky-Pecky, our chicken kids? This is where they were born and now are living on another farm too like this! We sure were happy to see some chickens again. But cows? I wasn’t so sure about that. Until I realized the culinary opportunity in front of me. No, it’s not what you think.
You may be eating your breakfast or drinking your coffee, and for that, I apologize in advance. But when you are on a diet, things get desperate. At least that is my excuse. Girl Person told us that we were embarrassing her by digging up cow poop, flinging it in the air, eating it with straw hanging out of our mouths, and then peeing on the cows’ heads.
Well, when you are on a diet and get taken to an all you can eat buffet after one long day of being on that diet, what do you expect me to do? Tell them I am on a diet? Not sure if you know me. Also, do I need to be on good behavior at an all you can eat buffet? Not sure that I have ever heard of a dress code at these places. Good thing cause I had no clothes on either.
Girl Person says that with all that has been happening the past week with vet visits, that we needed to get our minds off of serious things. Well, give anyone a pile of fresh cow poop, and serious things go out the window, I say! Pancakes or cow poop, Girl Person, that is your choice. Both make my belly full, but butter only goes good on one. This diet is already on my nerves.
-Deputy Digby Pancake