This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. Is there anything…anything…more frightening than a shortage of peanut butter? Is there anything more frightening than a shortage of peanut butter cookies? Is there anything more scary, or scarier, or whatever the grammar police want to say, than running from a storm named Florence who changed her title from Hurricane to Tropical Storm? Yes. Yes. And Yes. What is more frightening? When everyone in this Big Blue Treat Wagon RV freaks out.
If you have ever tried to be strong when you are going thru a dilemma or a problem in life, maybe this has happened to you. You are strong. You tell yourself you can do whatever it is you need to do. And you do it. But then, one little thing happens, or a big thing like climbing a mountain road in a 37 foot RV with a car attached for seven miles to get to a campground that you don’t even know has a space, and well, you decide that the proper time, and the proper thing to do is not be proper. Especially since you like run on sentences like the above. Which is even less proper. I’m not the Queen.
And all of a sudden, your strongness, yeah, that’s a word in my dictionary, is about to be over. Over. In our case, the persons found out that when you have no cell service, and you have to work and do stuff everyday, that maybe you should not have read the information online saying that you had cell service up there. Up a mountain. Up where anyone with half a supply of peanut butter cookies would know that it did not make any sense. Just like how every time you try to move from the rain and the storm named Florence with a job title issue follows you. Literally. Literally. Literally. And so, then, as you hold up your phone to the sky, standing on a pile of rocks with broken beer bottles hoping for one bar of service more than a bar of the best peanut butter fudge around, you look around. And you realize. You have no idea what day it is. How you got here. Why the storm keeps following you. And now…do you want to go back down that mountain?
Some things are necessary. Like eating. Like sleeping. Like rescuing a pet. Some things are very unnecessary. Like the people who decided to name the dinosaurs. Seriously. A lot of thought went into that. Why. So. Long.
But what seemed very necessary at the time, after driving through three states in less than a week was that it was a time to freak out. Boy Person threw his hands in the air. He gave up. Girl Person threw her hands in the same air. She gave up. Deputy Digby rolled in the grass on the side of the road. And I just was mad. Real mad. Everyone. Was. Arrested. Were we going to stay here and deal with this and eat and go to bed, or were we going to have to go back down this crazy mountain and keep driving? Girl Person? She said she could not do it. She said that she would drive to tell the fans goodnight. And they would figure it out in the morning. And as she drove and found a place to post one photo on the side of the road to our friends and fans, Boy Person snagged a campsite, tried to build an aluminum foil antenna which failed, and I knew it. They might have freaked out. But they figured out that when there is nothing you can do. You do it. Nothing.
After a week of running from the storm, we had had it. And being strong was no longer an option, because the winds all of a sudden roared in, we had no way to check the weather, and as Boy Person went back up the mountain to see what was happening, we learned that the forecast had changed once again. Instead of no rain in the forecast, it had turned to 100%. Florence had followed us again.
Some might say we are fortunate to be able to move our house. Some might say, like the ones in this house, that things are rough sometimes. And this was one of those weeks. So, sometimes, you just give in to the fact that you’re tired. You give to the fact you are done. And you play the cards you are dealt with and ride out the storm exactly where you are. With no cell service. And in the rain. So here we wait until Wednesday when we will try to make our way back towards Asheville, North Carolina! The Blue Ridge Parkway must be completed! We can do this!
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle