The Picnic Table

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. First off, before I get going on this. Alpine, Texas? You. Are. Arrested.


You know, after being on the road for a year and a half, we have been to some great places. We have been to some harsh places…even harsher than my attitude on this fine Thursday. But I have never been to a camp where one of my favorite things in the world was stolen right from under my paws.

I’ve been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times

Whenever we travel, I have one thing on my mind besides peanut butter cookies. When can we stop, get out, and when can I lay by my picnic table? I always look for my picnic table. It is the one thing that remains the same at every camp. Oh, I dream about saying hello to it all day.

And so when we arrived in Alpine, Texas yesterday, I saw it. We had been having a few rough days. And so this picnic table was definitely a sight for sore eyes.

I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you’re looking for?


As Girl Person got us out of the Big Blue Treat Wagon RV, laid down my blanket and sat there with me, I was thinking how nice of a picnic table this was. Now, keep in mind that none of us were in a great mood after driving for three days straight. But we were trying to get to Big Bend National Park, and if we don’t get a move on, we will never make it back to that Florida place. That is just a prelude to my next information.

As Girl Person and I were sitting there at our picnic table, because every campsite had its own table, a very wobbly man person walked right over to us. Girl Person got me up very fast, which interrupted my nap time and I was not happy about it.


The wobbly man person sat right down at my table, got out his book which he couldn’t hold very well, and acted like he didn’t even see us. As a Sheriff, I was shocked that someone could do this while stinking like alcohol to “high heaven” as Granny used to say. Girl Person told him that she must be mistaken, that perhaps this was HIS table? He couldn’t even answer her but looked at her like she was insane. Girl Person nicely directed his gaze to his picnic table…not ours. He just looked at her and almost fell off the table. At this point in the day, Boy Person was over it. All. He looked at Girl Person as if to say don’t bother, because no way was this wobbly man person understanding anything. Now, you would think that they would let me take over this arrest, but instead, Boy Person went up to the office to ask them to move our site. While he was gone, the wobbly man person tried to walk in our door, Deputy Digby was howling, and Girl Person was besides herself. She found another picnic table, but in fact this table was also someone else’s who informed her we had to leave. Now. Picnic tables may not be important to most. But for me, they are very important. Maybe you have something like that, that no one else understands. Also understand that Girl Person at this point was crying, Boy Person came back, unhooked all of our stuff again and we went to another campsite.

Girl Person set up my blanket again and we waited for Boy Person to come back with our house.

You’re all I’ve ever wanted and my arms are open wide
Cause you know just what to say and you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you


Digby was sitting in the front seat and looking out the window at us like, not again. Well, he should have been glad he was not outside with us. Because now, another wobbly man person driver decided that he would try to cut right through our campsite, almost running me and Girl Person over in the process. Girl Person really lost it now. And since the campsite people only moved us over three spaces, by now, the first wobbly man person was walking over there and almost falling down. Then yet another wobbly man person walked thru our campsite barefoot in the sandspurs, Girl Person told him that he needed to walk on the road, and he was so wobbly, he didn’t even hear. ALPINE, TEXAS, YOU. ARE. ARRESTED. AGAIN.

If we would have known there were so many wobbly, picnic table stealing, reckless drivers in this place, we would have been better to keep going. But now, we were so tired, that all we could do was think of sleep. As Boy Person tried to level our house for over another hour, we wondered if it was worth it. We had been stressed about having no conveniences the night before. But sometimes, the less you have, the better. And we learned our lesson. Roughing it for us just may be the best thing to do. As long as there is a picnic table. I know there is one waiting for me to sit by it!

Cause I wonder where you are and I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely? Or is someone loving you?


This has taught us that in life, things may be important to someone that are not important to you. But we should always respect the things that make someone else happy. After all, life is about the little things.

We are on our way to Big Bend National Park today and will be trying to find a campsite. Will you join us? If so, bring a picnic. I’m going to find the perfect table!

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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8 thoughts on “The Picnic Table

  1. Jacqueline

    I will never hear that song again, and NOT think of picnic tables. I’m so sorry you are having so many struggles. But that song, and that video with this story was SOLID GOLD!!! I love you all, poor precious family. Things can only go up, right? Stay safe from these drunken lost peoples. xoxoxo <3 <3 <3 <3

  2. Karen Hampton

    Dang, Sheriff!!! So grateful you & GP are safe!!!! Where were you guys? A campground for ‘wobbly persons’? Sounds like a nightmare situation…boy, you all have had SOME experiences & met some ‘colorful’ characters along your adventure of a lifetime. Hoping the days ahead are more restful & peaceful & most of all, no wobbly Persons!!!! ❤️🐶🐺🐾🐾🍷🍷🍷

  3. Kathy Dubree

    Do you go to private campgrounds or National park campgrounds? When I used to camp on a RV often the National Parks being short funded were often very run

  4. I am sorry that you had to endure this. I have never heard of such a thing. Hope you find a wonderful campsite down in Big Bend. It is such a lovely place. I miss going down that way. Safe travels to you!

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