This is Deputy Digby Pancake. Usually, when you are arrested, you are not allowed to tell your side of the story until your hearing. Well, I got arrested and sent to jail without that luxury. Crime committed. Jail. And well, since I am in jail today, I have time to tell you what happened. It was an open and shut case I heard. Poop Rider. That’s me. Arrested. Knight Rider? Move over. I’m coming thru. Well, something is definitely coming thru.
When we arrived in this Utah place, I was beside myself. Seems as though sometimes we end up in places that we couldn’t imagine. And one of those places are called Antimony, Utah.
I assumed it was where ants got married. But apparently, in Utah, when ants get married, they get no wine. Or champagne. Because it is very hard to find here unless you drive 40 miles out of your way to pay a million dollars for it, like the persons did.
Our first agenda in this Utah place was to rest a little bit since our Las Vegas ordeal. And in Antimony, Utah, there is not much more to do than rest. Or watch the cows. Or watch the horses. Or eat horse poop. And I decided that when you travel, half of the fun is tasting the local cuisine.
When Girl Person walks Sheriff Brickle and I, she knows the drill. Get pulled around everywhere. Try not to let us pull her down a mountain. And avoid. The. Poop. So when Boy Person decided that he wanted to take a turn with the leash, I was more than excited when he picked mine. Because I saw horse poop up the trail. And well, I was going to make this happen. Boy Person was paying no attention, and the Sheriff and Girl Person were ahead of us. This was the time. I grabbed a whole mouth of the Utah goodness and swallowed before Boy Person knew what happened. Boy Person told Girl Person that he thought I ate poop and while he was saying that, Girl Person stopped and prevented me from grabbing a dead crab laying in the trail. Well, that was unnecessary. It could have been delicious.
As we got back in the car, the persons were talking about what we were going to go see in this Utah place. All of a sudden, I got a case of well, sickness. I don’t know how else to say it, because I am under oath. And when I started gagging, Boy Person almost ran off the road, Girl Person didn’t have time to react, and so I just, threw horse poop projectiles all. Over. The. Car.
Knight Rider. I mean, Poop Rider. A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist. One who can tolerate horse poop.
If you know Boy Person, you know he has a very low tolerance of throw up in his car. He is high maintenance like that. As for Girl Person, she has a pretty weak stomach. And these two facts combined didn’t add up to being rational. But Girl Person knew that she had to pull it together. There I was with throw up all over me. There Sheriff Brickle was with throw up all over him. And if you have ever smelled horse poop once it has been thrown up, I apologize for this reminder. Girl Person looked all over for something to scoop up horse poop and there it was. Her scarf. She told us all to say goodbye to the scarf. Bye, scarf. Hello, barf.
Girl Person told Boy Person to pull over at the nearest rest area. Fortunately for all of us, it was very near by. As Girl Person held her breath, she told Boy Person she would get paper towels and soap. She instructed him to get me out and clean me up. She told him to get the Sheriff out and clean him up. And when she came back, she tried to clean up the car. Tried is the main word here. As she was trying to scoop thrown up horse manure up, Brickle decided he would also throw up and when you hear someone else doing this, you throw up. And yep, that is what happened. As other people in the parking lot were all looking at us like we were crazy, Girl Person lost it. She started laughing so hard that she was crying, which made Boy Person start laughing, which made Sheriff Brickle mad that this situation was not being taken seriously, and I just stood there with horse poop throw up all over me, wondering if we could do this every day. And wondering why, if everyone was laughing, why I was being arrested.
When you are in Antimony, Utah with horse poop throw up all over you, the ride home is a long one. But Girl Person said as long as they lived, the first thing that they would think of when Utah came to mind was horse poop. And the day when horse poop made everything funny. Everything gross. And made everything seem like it was right in the world. So…why am I in jail again?
Today, and this weekend we plan on seeing more of Utah by visiting some National Parks and just enjoying the beautiful area. And the persons plan to find some wine. Are you coming with us? Let’s do this! But you probably will want to take your own car.
-Arrested Deputy Digby Pancake
And thank you to Vegas Shepherd Rescue in Las Vegas, Nevada this week! Look for our video and article coming May 21st! We will be featuring their adoptables all thru the weekend on our Facebook page. Don’t miss it! We met Ellie Mae in person…she is one of the most special dogs we know. Is she your girl?