Who Needs GPS? No One I Say. No One.

This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  Oh, what a week this has been.  If we weren’t so close to home, I am not sure that any of us in this Big Blue Treat Wagon could keep going.  Especially after yesterday.

We started our day off good.  We were at the beach, and yeah, we were slow to start on the next leg of our journey home because we loved it so much there.  Especially the Sheriff.


We thought we had plenty of time still to make it to a camping spot we wanted to go to.  Now, I am not one for noticing the small stuff unless it is a small pancake which in that case, I notice that it should be larger.  But as the person were talking about how the directions to this camp seemed odd, I thought to myself….self.  Why don’t they just ask me how to get there?  Who needs whatever that is called GPS.  I am DPS, Digby Pancake Satellite, and if I put my nose to the ground, I can get us there.  But they did not ask me.  Nope.  So I laid back down on the Sheriff’s bed and dreamed of how to get there.  And then.  Well.  You guessed it.  The GPS got us lost.  Took us to a cow pasture.  Not a state park.  And my friends, you can’t turn a Big Blue Treat Wagon RV around in a cow pasture.  GPS?  Who needs that? NO one.

At this point, the Sheriff was about to arrest everyone after five hours of driving with only a small pee break.  He started panicking.  And that’s not a pretty sight.  And it is always a dilemma when he resorts to jumping in Boy Person’s lap while driving.


What was I doing? While sleeping, pondering the fact that I should market my DPS services.  Seems as if these phones take people to cow pastures, try to get us to drive over bridges to the water, take us to traffic jams and also never to pancake places.  It is absolutely ridiculous. Who needs GPS? No one.

Did we finally find a camping spot? Yep, 3 more hours later.  Only an hour away from our Tampa home, but we were too tired to keep driving.  So.  The story does not end here, although I am sure you are tired of reading.  But sometimes, the book has a few more chapters.  A few more turns.  You are now on DPS.  Not GPS.

We found somewhere that took late campers.  Girl Person took us to potty while Boy Person paid, put us back in that RV trap and we pulled to our site.  Problem was, it was so bumpy that the RV wouldn’t park, we were all crooked and the persons were at their limit, as were we.  Girl Person was determined we get fed, put our dinner on our paper plates and took us outside for Boy Person to fix this situation.  As we walked outside, Girl Person saw another camper was trying to park, and so she took us, our paper plates and aimed to find a peaceful spot.  It was so dark that she didn’t realize we had walked rudely thru someone else’s camp site, and their furkid was not having it.  We all got scared to death, yep, the dinner went flying. And Girl Person had to say sorry a million times while picking up pork tenderloin, organic kale and penne pasta from the ground.  Penne.  Should have been rigatoni.  Anyway.

After that, the persons were ready for a shower, put some wine in paper cups and aimed to finally get some rest.  Well.  The showers were cold. Girl Person was now cold.  And she needed some GPS to get her back to happy town.  And then it happened.

Did we need GPS to tell us we were almost home?  Nope. We felt it in our hearts.  It warmed us all up.  And all of a sudden, the day’s tragic events melted away too.  We were back in our Florida place. After 8 long months on the road.  Today?  It’s going to be a good day.  Join us.  Set your DPS.

-Deputy Digby Pancake

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2 thoughts on “Who Needs GPS? No One I Say. No One.

  1. daniel holt

    welcome home and enjoy the time you have with what you learned over the road , you made life good for us that followed you thru your journey and we all thank you for sharing ,,merry christmas to all of you

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