This is Deputy Digby Pancake. We have been here in this New Mexico place for just a few days. And already, I have solved one of the mysteries facing mankind and dogkind on this planet.
Since we have been in Roswell, New Mexico this weekend, Sheriff Brickle and I found it our duty to investigate. And my conclusion is an obvious one. It has taken since 1947 to figure this out? By a Deputy? You. Are. Welcome.
The persons told me that we were staying at a place that aliens crashed at many years ago. Other people tried to tell many other people that this didn’t even happen. They said oh no. No flying saucer ever was here. Oh yeah? Really? Why would they say that? It took me a visit to the UFO Museum here to really get things clicking in my brain.
And when it clicked, oh you better believe it clicked.
First of all, these aliens, are well…just too skinny in my humble yet ample opinion. Why they came to earth was apparent. Did they crash? Perhaps. But was it an accident? I say no. When you are flying around on a flying saucer, aka a pancake, you are bound to want maple syrup. And there is no maple syrup in space, or on their planet.
They needed to come here to get it to put on their flying saucer aka their pancake, and they did not think things through. At all. Probably because they were starving because they needed that syrup. You see, when they got here and put the maple syrup on their flying saucer, aka pancake, they had no way to get out of here because they ate it. Again, they didn’t think things through.
When the people in charge here in the desert found them, they were so full from eating their flying saucer that they couldn’t move. They had brought foil with them though to wrap up their leftover pancakes, and it was all over the field because they tore it up because they were mad that they had no leftovers. The men in the desert figured this was the remains of their flying saucer which was ridiculous. Why would you fly in metal when you could fly in a pancake aka a flying saucer? Think persons, think.
Because the aliens were mad that they had no leftovers, the government people thought they were going to harm them and so they were scared. The aliens just wanted more pancakes, so they the government people took them to IHop and that is when the aliens fled. Can’t say as I blame them. They had to visit as many IHops as they could in order to gather enough pancakes to build another giant pancake, aka a flying saucer to get out of here. And they are still trying to build it, so you may see them sometimes. Sometimes, they get their pancake aka their flying saucer built, but then they get hungry again and have to start over. They have been doing this since 1947 and it is absolutely exhausting just thinking about it. And makes me hungry.
Now. That is my conclusion on the aliens. Why do people wear tin foil hats to keep the aliens from reading their minds and telling them what to do? Because for goodness sakes, nothing would get done on earth if we were eating pancakes all day and going to IHop to build a giant pancake. These aliens are just going to have to figure this out for themselves before Sheriff Brickle arrests them.
Being here in Roswell this weekend, I have the upmost faith that these aliens will one day succeed and be able to return home. Two possibilities exist I heard someone say. Either we are alone in this universe or we are not. If you see them at IHop, or trying to fly in their flying saucer, be nice and give them some maple syrup. Be a good earthling.
-Deputy Digby Pancake
P.S. What are we up to today on this Adventure Of A Lifetime? We are headed out of Roswell, New Mexico to get closer to Santa Fe. Why? We have an awesome visit this week with the animal rescuers at Desert Paws Animal Rescue Of New Mexico!! They are doing all they can in their area to help animals that need them like Maximus. MAXIMUS is a happy-go-lucky affectionate staffie. He loves tennis balls, comfy bedding, and being petted and hugged. Neutered and utd with vaccines. 8 months old, good with other dogs, and other dogs really like him. Contact email@example.com