Kentucky Coyote Dinner Plate Stealer

This is Deputy Digby Pancake. An arrest warrant has been issued.  By me.  By me, the Deputy.  It is that serious.  Don’t mess with my dinner.

Here we are in this Kentucky place for the week.  We really needed to visit here.  This place relaxed us, made us feel a little closer to home, and the beauty of the national park we are near has given us a sense of peace.  You know how you feel after you eat a big meal? All full and gushy inside?  Like that.  So when a Kentucky criminal decided to mess with my dinner reservations last night, you had bet it was a serious thing.

When you are camping, sometimes, you run out of supplies.  And when you are in the middle of nowhere or near nowhere, sometimes you forget to buy enough stuff.  Girl Person has had a lot on her plate which leads me to understand why she forgot to buy more paper plates.  Since our sink is about as big as bucket, Girl Person prefers not to wash dishes in there all day.

You may also be aware if you follow this blog that Sheriff Brickle and I prefer to eat al fresco, and on paper plates.  I guess when you are in Kentucky, you don’t call it eating al fresco.  You call it eating in the outside. And no dog dishes for us.  I can’t keep my food in there anyway, I usually dump it out on the floor and so that is why we eat outside.  Anyway! Girl Person was feeling all thrifty, and or cheap the day before.  She said that she was going to wash our paper plates like Granny used to do and we could use them again.  Sheriff Brickle rolled his eyes, but when she said that way we could afford more treats, we agreed on the matter.

Well, again.  Girl Person has a lot on her plate, and forgot about those plates outside.  At the same time, our household has seemed to run out of paper plates, and I guess the coyote’s household had too.  Girl Person left the paper plates on the table outside, and the next morning, one plate was gone and the other plate was covered in coyote paw prints.  Guess this criminal wasn’t so concerned with being caught because he howled all night outside our window with his friends and then committed the crime. I also suppose that since he only stole one plate that he intended to be thrifty as well.  Or cheap.  Whatever you wish to call it.

So now.  We were in a predicament.  The nearest store is far away.  Girl Person made our dinner and remembered the lack of plates.  She went outside and got the one plate and brought it inside.  She washed it again and decided that maybe what she could do was cut the plate in half.  I said it.  In half.  Do you KNOW how much we eat, Girl Person?

After she did that, she tried to put our dinner on the plates.  The dinner fell off.  In the bucket sink.  So she washed that off again and just looked.  Looked at the half plates she had created which still were dirty with paw prints.  She looked at Sheriff Brickle who at this point was staring at her accusingly like he should have been.  Who forgets to buy plates to feed their dogs, then leaves the only plates outside which are already used and dirty, gets one stolen by a coyote and then tries to wash off a coyote soiled half plate, then cuts it in half, and then drops their dogs’ dinner in a bucket sink? Girl Person.  You guessed it.  Girl Person. Is. Arrested.  With. The. Coyote.

So.  You can never accuse Girl Person of not being creative. She got foil, wrapped up our dinner like hot pockets and outside we went.


Now, my dinner reservations were not supposed to be on foil, but full, coyoteless paper plates.  For once, I will not complain to management, but eat my dinner and appreciate it.  Because, you know what?  This Kentucky place already has made me feel all gushy and mushy already.  We have loved our time here. And when you can throw in an arrest, it makes it all the more enjoyable for the Sheriff and I.  We have loved you Kentucky.  And we can’t wait to spend the weekend here too.  But one thing.  Coyote?  You. Are. Arrested.

-Deputy Digby Pancake

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2 thoughts on “Kentucky Coyote Dinner Plate Stealer

  1. Nina Merklin

    Bwahahaha! Cut the plates in half!!! I love you girl person for trying so hard for the Sheriff and Deputy Digby. You are the best. I so look forward to your adventures even if I don’t always respond. Would love to see you when you make it to Arizona.

  2. Rose Runge

    Be careful with the foil Digby because it’s supposed to be very, very, very bad for you guys. DON’T EAT IT! Not that you would because then you would have to place yourself under arrest. I really am looking forward to your book guys. Take care. Bye.

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