This is Deputy Digby Pancake. Sheriff Brickle is busy writing a report. About me.
Last night, Girl Person took us for our nightly walk. Now, as you know, I sometimes have issues so to say. I was a hunting dog for the beginning of my life and I don’t like to talk about it very much since I was rescued. But they kept me in a small box and I had to use the bathroom outside of that box. I am a clean guy in that regards. I still like to roll in dead stuff though. So anyway…this is a long way of saying that I like to poop on fences. Or trees. Or anything that I can get up against. I assault trees in this regard. I will not just go to the bathroom in a field. Unless there is a fence or a tree. Get it? Good.
So last night, the only fence in sight was a neighbor’s fence. And when I have to go, I have to go. Girl Person almost got her arm yanked off when I saw that fence. She couldn’t get a bag out fast enough and I pooped right through that fence I tell you. Yep. Good aim. The poop landed in the neighbor person’s yard. On their side of the fence. And Girl Person couldn’t reach it.
Now, you would think at this point that Girl Person would just walk away. She said that was rude, that you can’t just poop on a fence and walk away like nothing happened. So she tried and tried to reach through the fence. Her bag tore, and you guessed it. Now she had a poop filled hand.
Girl Person told me thanks. Thanks for that. She said she was done. She looked around to see if anyone saw the crazy poop fest and we got home. She stunk pretty bad I will say. Why would she do that? She said there are neighbors all over these streets now with and without dogs that wonder how a dog pooped in their yard. She said it’s a good thing we are moving in a few months. Cause even the trees around here aren’t liking us.
-Deputy Digby Pancake