This is Deputy Digby Pancake. I didn’t ask to be woken up this morning. It was a long night. I was out at the club…aka the Big Blue Treat Wagon RV which apparently has been turned into a disco. All. Night. Long.
It goes without saying that I am a good dancer. For sure. Give me a pile of poop to roll in, and I will do a dance move envied by Fred Astaire.
Fred Astaire would not have approved of our dancing last night. I think he probably never did a disco move. But you see, this Big Blue Treat Wagon RV has turned into the bluest disco on wheels you have ever seen. Why? I am sure you are wondering the answer to this question. To keep out the pack rats who apparently don’t like lights..or discos.. we have to have lights. Many, flashing lights. All. Night. Long. We were rockin’ it.
When you travel to places you have never been before, you don’t know certain things. You may not know that pack rats don’t like disco lights. But as we pulled into camp yesterday, everyone told us that if we didn’t want to have any extra passengers in the Big Blue Treat Wagon, it would be a good idea to leave lights on all night long.
Now in my opinion, anything that happens after midnight is not worth talking about. You need to be sleeping at night to rest up for your naps the next day. So to hear that we had to have a disco all night long? Well. This was quite disturbing to a rescue foxhound like me who likes to sleep. I also relish when Sheriff Brickle gets enough of his beauty sleep so as not to be in a bad mood the next day. But alas, with a disco all night, I knew this would not be happening.
If a pack rat or a family of pack rats want to get into our disco, it is not happening. Sheriff Brickle and I decided that yeah, we could have hired bouncers at the door. But the best deterrent was our law enforcement presence. And the disco lights. If pack rats hate discos so much at camp, I do wonder what kind of clubs they go to. They must think it is pretty exclusive to get in a Big Blue Treat Wagon RV. They must think we have the best drinks in here. Well, I can tell you this. The persons aren’t sharing their wine, and the water is only tolerable.
So pack rats? This is the Big Blue Treat Wagon RV Disco Club where we have no room for pack rats like you. If you want to make one of your famous nests, I implore you to find another club. Because this club travels..and we are headed back to that Florida place. Do you want to go to Florida? I highly doubt that. I also highly doubt that we could get along. You hoard your food, and you don’t even eat it. You like shiny things, you build your nests out the best stuff you can find, but if you find something better, you drop it. I have a cushy bed in my disco and blankets and pillows. I don’t want your leaves and stolen shoes. We hid ours by the way. And I have never dropped a pancake for a better pancake because I eat them all.
Pack rats? If you hate discos so bad, maybe you can open up a jazz club, or hip hop or play music from like….The Rat Pack, maybe? Bahahaha!
We know there is a place in our world for every creature, every animal. We all have a purpose and contribute to the earth. But I want no contributions from pack rats in our disco. And by the way…who in the world am I supposed to dance with in this club? Who am I supposed to shake my booty with?
Tonight will be another long night. I hear this disco club will be in operation until we leave next week. And for any club to stay open that long, it has to be good. I will be possibly allowing other patrons to come in…as long as you can dance and you pay in pancakes. But if you try to sneak any pack rats in here…You. Are. Arrested.
-Deputy Digby Pancake