That Did Not Happen


This is Deputy Digby Pancake and I have been asked to be involved in a coverup. And I never cover up first of all.  I am naked and proud of it.  I don’t cook bacon when I’m naked because that would be wrong, but I do hike naked and eat pancakes naked.

Anyway, we are in this Wisconsin place and having a good time so far.  We got a lot of rain the first night, and the persons were pretty bummed.  It rained and rained, far into the morning yesterday and we thought it would never stop but it finally did.  Truth is, this Big Blue Treat Wagon needs a washing, the car needs a washing and we all need a washing.  Our lives seem to be a big, traveling mess lately.  The persons can’t keep up with laundry, which I don’t need cause I am naked. Except by bacon.  They can’t keep up with cleaning, and that is apparent.  Girl Person needs an arresting here and I am more than embarrassed about it. Let’s see.  Should I tell this story?  Of course I will.

We got here in this Wisconsin place pretty late on Monday.  And after we arrive in a new place, Girl Person does a bit of a cleaning.  Dog hair in vacuum, wine out, supplies out, laundry sorted.  She had placed our backpack in the shower because no, our shower still doesn’t work and now it is a closet.  It had water in it, so Girl Person didn’t want it to spill and that is why it was in there.  Well, she was sorting laundry which was also in there, I told you our lives are a mess.  And that’s when she saw it in the outside of the backpack. Which had been there for two days.  You know what I am getting at.  Dog. Poop.  Picked up from a trail to throw away, and now…IN the shower.  In the Big Blue Treat Wagon.  That is disgusting. After she gagged, I heard her say to Sheriff Brickle that this did not happen. If Boy Person knew, he would freak. Out.


Now listen.  I am a dog that doesn’t cook bacon naked but eats pancakes naked.  But even I have my limits and old dog poop in a shower is probably that limit.  I have been asked to be involved in a coverup and no, I will not mention this unless asked directly about old dog poop in a backpack in a shower.  Gag.  I prefer to roll in fresh poop which is highly more attractive.

Sheriff Brickle said that Girl Person should be arrested, but if Boy Person finds out, that sentence may not be as light as his.  I say its Boy Person’s fault for not fixing the shower yet, but I didn’t say that.  Or I did.

Anyway! Today we are off to a rescue in Washburn, Wisconsin.  WASH…you knew that was coming…

-Deputy Digby Pancake


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