This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. I hear it’s that time of year again for you persons. Poor you. It’s nice to be a dog. In case you forgot, you need to do your taxes.
I see Girl Person and Boy Person with papers and boxes of papers. I hear them calling an accountant monster. No, I don’t know if that is a real monster, but the way they sigh when they get off the phone leads me to believe that. In case you are also an accountant monster, I implore you to not be monster like and please do away with these taxes. It’s the least you can do for us dogs.
I don’t like to see the persons under stress. If they are under stress, I am under stress. Which makes my handsome less obvious, although still there. And so I have a suggestion to the accountant monsters. Stop calculating taxes on your calculator for stuff you don’t need to. Like don’t tax pancakes or peanut butter cookies. At all. Unnecessary. Don’t tax pizza and also the crusts. Also unnecessary. And please, please, don’t tax the handsome. But I have some clarification on this point.
There are usually lines on the tax forms. Like a. and b. and so forth and so on. Under the tax for handsome, I need you to change this to “tax everyone’s handsome except Peanut Butter Brickle so that he can be the handsomest.”
I mean, no matter if you do this or not, I will always still be the handsomest, but this just makes it easier on me and gives the persons one less thing to worry about.
So everyone? Get your taxes done so we can have some fun around here. And if you need to spend that refund, I do have some suggestions….coooookies.
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle