Hello. Let me introduce myself. I am Safety Patrol Mouse, taking over this 2 Traveling Dogs blog today. I have no apologies for doing so. Not even any apawolgies. Because I earned this.
I have been told that if you work hard all your life, you will succeed. Well, I have been working hard now for days and I succeeded. Succeeded in alluding the law of Sheriff Brickle and Deputy Digby Pancake. I succeeded in my job as well. My job as Safety Patrol. Safety Patrol Mouse is what you can call me. It’s respect on your part. I expect that. However, I am not reporting from my old jurisdiction, the Big Blue Treat Wagon, but reporting from my new home. The woods. Because apparently, my services were no longer needed. No, it was not job performance for my dismissal, but the Sheriff and Deputy were afraid of their job security, so I was dismissed.
It all started last week in Iowa. Yes, I saw the Big Blue Treat Wagon bus. I had just earned my Safety Patrol sash, and my badge was proudly displayed on it. I had numerous job interviews, but I felt sadly overqualified for all jobs. So I thought to myself that I should probably go right to the top and volunteer for a bit….you know, for resume points and all. So I saw the Big Blue Treat Wagon, the 2 Traveling Dogs sign, and I thought it was a great opportunity. I hopped on board, took residence, and to my surprise, met another mouse who was waiting for an opportunity like me and she was dern pretty. A match made in heaven, or should I say, a match made in the Big Blue Treat Wagon.
My employers, Girl Person, Boy Person, Sheriff Brickle and Deputy Digby didn’t notice my great job at first. I ate wires and insulation and made paths throughout the RV, all without even a mention of my work. So I decided to step it up a bit, and yep, step out right into the cabin of the bus, the Big Blue Treat Wagon. As Safety Patrol of this vehicle, it was my job to make sure all was safe, so out I ventured over Girl Person’s foot while she was on the computer and you would have thought she had a heart attack. I have never heard so much screaming, and I thought that I should probably not do such a good job. At least for a few days.
So my wife and I, yes, my wife, as a mouse my days move fast, we made preparations when we heard the persons talking about moving this bus to a place called Illinois. We were ready for the trip. We put on our Safety Patrol sashes, talked about safety on the road and how we would monitor it and decided that as soon as the RV was on a big road, we would come out and give our passengers a safety brief. Girl Person was sitting on the floor, the Sheriff was in his chair, Boy Person was driving and Deputy Digby was sleeping. News flash there. No danger in the Deputy taking our jobs.
So we ran out to start our briefing, Girl Person screamed, Boy Person yelled and ran off the road, and yep, we realized that we were doing our job too good again. No need in being overqualified. So we ran off, and waited. There had to be a way that we could impress our employers. We waited until they were in bed, and decided at the last minute we should have a talk.
Well, that’s when Boy Person heard me. It was fine by me because I didn’t want to really have to make an appointment. I heard him say “Hear it? Its right by our head in the wall. How did he get in there?”.
Well, it took alot of work, Boy Person. Thanks for noticing. I heard Girl Person say, ” I swear to you, if it jumps in this bed I am going to have a heart…”
You got it. Attack. Well, I decided to let her know I meant business as Safety Patrol, so I came out, jumped on her head and that’s when it began. Mayhem. Screaming. The Sheriff jumped on the couch, Deputy Digby moved nowhere, Boy Person ran out the door, and I, well, decided I should probably make an appointment. I went back home, but got hungry from all my work and I smelled it. Pumpkin seeds and matzo, calling my name. I went to it, and a door closed and I was trapped. Trapped I tell you at 3 in the morning! I knew that my employers were threatened by all my good work and I was mad. Real mad. That’s when I heard Boy Person.
“We can’t leave him in this trap, he is thirsty and we have to drive him and he can’t be thirsty from the trip”. I heard more screaming and then I was put in a trash can with water and food and off we went in the Jeep. I had a front row seat on Girl Person’s lap and I decided to tell her my thoughts on general driving safety by jumping as hard as I could to try and get out. I wanted them to know I was a very hard worker, flexible and appreciative of the experience.
But I was very worried. Worried that they would not sign my resume and I had done all this work. And what about my wife? They drove me to a beautiful new place of employment, the woods with lots of places to use my new skills, and off I went. I had high hopes my wife would be on the way. If not, I was sure to find a new one out here somewhere. As Safety Patrol Mouse, I can’t help my good looks. Sheriff Brickle taught me that.
I thought that my employers had been pretty cool, so I waited. And it didn’t take too long. They went home, and my wife had decided she was up for the trip. She had a good resume as well at this point, so she got in the trap, had a full belly, and the persons took another trip at 5 in the morning at this point. They put my wife in the car and off they went. They got back to the woods, and here she was. My new, very qualified Safety Patrol wife. I told my new girlfriend I had already found to take a hike.
We were handed our signed resumes by way of a talk by the persons. They told us to have a good life, thanks for our service and that they would be available for any recommendations. But they told us there was only room in the bus for 2 law enforcement officers and that our services were kindly no longer needed. They said Illinois needed us and that they knew we would eat and do great things in this state. In another bus. In another RV. Well, there will never be another Big Blue Treat Wagon to us.
Thanks to the persons for not hurting us first of all. We know we are little, but we matter. We know that even the Sheriff appreciated our service for the short time we were on board, except for stealing his matzo. Yes, we may have been arrested, but it was worth it. Jumping on persons driving and in bed and eating matzo, peanut butter cookies and pancakes makes for good resume material. But on we go to serve Illinois. If any fans are in Illinois and need our services, we are available for a fee. Cookies and pancakes. We learned well.
-Safety Patrol Mouse
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