Feed The Alligators and You Get Bigger Alligators

This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  You know, when you have been cooped up as long as we have these past few weeks because of the rain, you start hearing things.  You start seeing things.  You start imagining things.  You start being hungry.  Actually, if you are me, you never stop being hungry.  And so, if you have to nap the day away, you choose to dream about things that you like.  Pancakes.  Pancakes with syrup.  Eating all the pancakes.  When it is raining, you can dream about anything that you want to, and for as long as you want to.  And it makes me happy.

I’ve heard people say that “the nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops.”  And yes, sometimes it does stop and you have to wake up for dinner.

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Now, sometimes, if you are like me, when you wake up, you are a bit groggy.  It takes a minute, or an hour to realize even where I am at first.  So when I looked out of the window after my fifth nap of the day yesterday, I thought I was seeing things.

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I am not sure if you can see it.  If you can, you may wonder.  Am I seeing things?  What is that?  I rubbed my eyes a bit more…

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Now.  You know that our friend Ollie Gator lives around here.  And we are always on the lookout around the lakes and the creeks and the swamps.  But it never would have been in my wildest dreams of even blueberries and pancakes that we would be camped next door…to…him. This was our neighbor?

I like this campground, I am just going to say that.  But, it is true, sometimes, we get neighbors that are loud.  Or neighbors that throw trash.  Or neighbors that leave their lights on all night.  So this new neighbor?  He wasn’t the worst.  And in fact, this guy was just sitting there.  Being all alligator like.  My only worry?  I would have to share if he came over and asked for a cup of something.  Like flour or whatever.

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About the same time as I saw our new neighbor, Boy Person saw him too.  He asked Girl Person if she had looked out the window.  And I wondered…what was the big deal here?  Seriously though, he had his camping pass in the window.  But then Boy Person asked Girl Person if he was real.  Girl Person shrieked, looked a little closer, and they stood there and watched it to see if he was breathing.

They could not decide.  But right about that time, other neighbors who have busted in our RV for the last two days decided to make their presence known too.  The flies.  The family of flies.  We get one out, two come back in.  We get two out, four come in.  And so, the persons got distracted as they always do.  Even with the new neighbor not breathing outside of our door.

And even though I was sleepy, and yes, hungry, I noticed what was happening here.  I wasn’t currently worried about the new neighbor, because he wasn’t that big.  Also, not breathing.  But if the persons kept getting the flies out of here, and our neighbor kept eating the flies, wouldn’t he get bigger?  And then he would be able to move and then come knock on our door and ask for flour which makes my pancakes?  I could not let the all you can eat fly buffet from this Big Blue Treat Wagon RV be open any longer.  Sheriff Brickle and I had to take matters into our own paws and eat all of the flies before our neighbor could.

Now, when you have had the ultimate in culinary delights, you find it hard to go back to the real world of flies.  I don’t like Shoofly Pie.  At all.  And Brickle either. So as bored as we were with the rain and the dreaming, and what was at stake with our new neighbor, we made the executive decision to just go back to sleep.

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They say if you feed the alligators, you get bigger alligators.  But also, he was not a real alligator.  Did I really need to tell you this?  And they call Sheriff Brickle the smart one.

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For the persons, spending their day chasing out flies, and inviting more in, while trying to decide if an alligator was real or not outside our RV put some stuff into perspective.  We had a bit of a crazy life.  And we wouldn’t change this life for anything.  Maybe there are crazy things in your life too.  Maybe sometimes,  you think that you are the craziest of all.  And you may be right.  But I like that.

Because I can guarantee you will never be as crazy as a person chasing out flies while watching for a fake alligator to breathe.  I guarantee.

-Deputy Digby Pancake

Did you watch Girl Person live on Facebook making Chicken Cacciatore For Dogs and People to share?  Watch below! Get the full recipe here.

Don’t Feed The Alligators Or Sell Lawn Mowers Or Ladders

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle.  Do I look like I can sell ice cream to to a polar bear?  Do I look like I can sell a pie to a bakery that bakes pies?  You catch my drift and it smells good.  If my occupation was a salesman, I would rock and roll and rise straight to the top.  I would be on top of my game like maple syrup on a pancake. Like peanut butter on jelly.  Like brindle stripes on a catahoula.  That’s me.

But like any good salesperson, I know my clients.  I know who I am selling to. I have to know my territory.  And I have to respect when other salespersons have claimed an area.

Such was the case this past weekend.  You see, I knew my game plan for the day.  Since Memaw Macaw is moving, and she is packing and trying to get rid of stuff, she needs to sell some stuff.  And this is the last week that we are here with her. So I was surveying available places to sell her stuff to.  A good salesperson always does research.  But I knew right away that this neck of the woods was not a good territory for me.

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I also knew what items I had to sell that day.  That makes the difference to a salesperson to.  For instance, if someone knocked on my door trying to sell me handsome, that would be futile.  So.  What did I have to sell? On the agenda was a ladder.  A really tall ladder.  And a lawn mower.  And I thought about it.  Would a ladder be needed here?  Well, only to get out of the way of the alligators who actually were already in charge of selling here because they are in charge of everything here.  And in such a situation, they would more than likely eat the ladder.  So yeah.  Not a good selling point.  Not a good territory.

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And then the lawn mower.  Obviously, no one cared to mow the lawn here at this swamp and river.  I am all about innovation and introducing a product to the public when need be.  But the alligators in fact had this covered too.  They were their own mowers of sorts.  And so I left that territory with a new found goal.  I could do this. I could sell this ladder, which in fact Memaw Macaw had bought from another yard sale, which in fact makes no sense.  And I could sell this lawn mower.  Because.  Yeah. This is Florida and the grass grows as fast as Deputy Digby’s appetite.

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I thought about it on the way back to Memaw Macaw’s house. And I guess Boy Person had already read my mind.  Since the ladder and the mower were already here, why tote them around door to door? This was not 1988 and I wasn’t selling encyclopedias.  The only thing you ever need to look up is why I am so handsome, but they don’t make encyclopedias anymore so the answer will never be known.

Boy Person had read my mind.  He had put the ladder and the lawn mower by the road with a sign that didn’t say “no swimming” like those alligators had put up in their territory. No, but this sign was much more effective.  $20.

This was good thinking on Boy Person’s part.  Although it was just the beginning to this week of packing and getting rid of stuff, well, it was a good start. And the persons had high hopes that they would sell quickly. But as good as a salesperson as I wanted to be, the Sheriff part of me…the biggest part of me, well, it had other ideas.

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Because, you see, as much as I wanted to be the top salesperson in my category, I realized that I was the only salesperson in my category, and therefore, I would be at the top no matter what.  So when I realized this, I realized that even if I didn’t sell the ladder, and even if I didn’t sell the lawn mower, I would still be a success.  So I decided to do what I do best.  Sheriff it up.  And so every car that pulled up, I barked and growled and arrested them.  This went on all day.  This went on all evening.  And as Memaw Macaw came out to see if anyone had bought her goods, and realized that they had not, I could see the glimmer of approval in her eyes.  She didn’t want to get rid of anything after all.  And I had done her good, y’all.  Everyone. Is. Welcome.

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Sometimes, we may be our biggest critic.  We may think that we aren’t good enough.  That we aren’t at the top of our game.  But if we do our best, being at the top is guaranteed.  You don’t have to climb any ladders to be a success.  I may not win any awards for my selling numbers.  I may not be an employee of the month. But the alligators can do it their way.  And I will do it mine.  You do it your way too.  Make yourself proud.  That is who counts.

Also, by the way, I have a ladder and lawn mower for sale.  Bahahahahaha! Come and get it.

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

Just a few days left to purchase!

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