This is Fruitycake. I love to speak my mind. Especially on a Monday. Monday, fun day they say! Oh. They don’t say that? Why not? Makes no sense to me. Every day is a good day and can be a good day. No matter what you call it.
But I have no shortage of opinions. And I like to speak them regularly. I like to bark. You know that.
And I also like to talk smack. Yeah. You heard me. I like to smack my lips. A lot. Especially at night. Especially all night.
Have you ever heard a noise that made you crazy? Like maybe nails on a chalkboard?
Or maybe hearing people chewing drives you mad.
Or perhaps it’s the sold of a refrigerator without my favorite prosciutto. There isn’t a sound for that? I beg to differ. Listen when you open up yours and tell me.
But maybe what drives you crazy is the sound of Fruity smacks. It’s the sound of me licking my lips and my nose and smacking my tongue around so that it goes ssssmmaaaack. Smmmmaaaccck. And when do I do this? Oh. All night long. Only at night.
Girl Person says that if her snoring keeps me up, my smacking keeps her up. And what keeps Boy Person up? Smacking and snoring and then he has to yell at the pigs outside the window in the garden.
The Fruity Smacks are A LOT. But I’m a A LOT. I say you either deal with the smacking or get to packing. And no one wants to be without me. Not even me.
You may be a lot too. No, you may not smack. But I can guarantee you have something about you that is not everyone’s cup of tea or even coffee. But I also can guarantee that you’re loved by those who love you anyway. And to those that don’t, they don’t need to be there.
I love the so called irritating things that others can’t look past. Why? It makes us unique. It shows we can be our selves, have a sense of humor and that life isn’t so serious. Now. It’s time I get to smacking.
–Fruitycake
