This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. Have you ever heard a story so many times that it’s like you swear that you have heard it before? Because maybe, just maybe, that person has told it to you before. And keeps telling you. Girl Person? Seriously. The orange soda. I get it.
Got no time is what you’re known to say
I’ll make you wish there was forty eight hours to each day
Since I have heard the story of the orange soda so many times, maybe I can relate it to you. Imagine this. Girl Person is a little person. She likes to fake being sick and staying home from school so that she can go to Granny Person’s house and get ice cream cake. Or sponge cake. Imagine also this. Girl Person likes to watch TV when she is faking sick and eating sponge cake and ice cream cake with some vienna sausages thrown in on saltine crackers for good measure. Peeled vienna sausages. Yeah, I am actually gagging at that one too. Guess that is part of the reason why she is a vegetarian now.
Tell me something good
Tell me that you like it, yeah
When Girl Person is faking sick, which now, by the way, Gandma is going to arrest her for admitting this, she liked to watch a movie. And on this particular day, they had a contest. They said that the 44th caller to the TV station would win a lifetime supply of orange soda. Minute Maid Orange Soda!
Now. Newsflash. Girl Person lived in an orange grove. Why she wanted more oranges, I don’t understand. Unless perhaps I can liken it to living in in a Peanut butter cookie grove. There is never enough.
But Girl Person knew she had to put down her vienna sausages and ice cream cake to get this valuable prize. It was so, so important. Granny Person told Girl Person she was too sick to dial that TV station.
But Girl Person coughed with every number. She dialed it over and over until until…you guessed it! She won! They told her she was the 44th caller and when she put down the phone, she told Granny she had something real good to tell her.
But Granny Person wondered. Who in the world would go to pick up this lifetime supply of orange soda? How much orange soda could last you a lifetime? Was this really a good thing? She told Gandpa that he should probably take his truck there after he got off work to go to the TV station and pick up this valuable prize that would last everyone a lifetime. Girl Person miraculously got better just in time to wait for her dad to pull up in his truck. With. You guessed it. A lifetime supply of orange soda! This was a very good day. A very good one.
Now, it didn’t take much to make Girl Person happy, but it also didn’t take long for her, her brother, and her cousins to drink all of that orange soda in a just a few days. In the orange grove. Yes, they drank all of their orange soda in the orange grove. And it was gone. What were they to do? It was a mystery that had always perplexed them. If a supply of orange soda from a TV station was to last you a lifetime, how was it gone? Oh, and I heard this. Over and over and over again. I kinda felt like I was there, except I wasn’t, and I didn’t want to be.
Years went by until I came along, and this story seemed to be one of Girl Person’s favorites and life long tragedies. Oh, the orange soda. And to add to this? They stopped making it years later. Because. Apparently, Girl Person and her family had depleted it all.
I thought about this, and yesterday, as we were driving to this Tampa place, we had to stop and take a break because Digby had to go to the bathroom for the millionth time. The only thing around was a Dollar General store. And as Girl Person walked us around, I all of a sudden was shocked. Shocked. There we were. Sitting in a freshly mowed Dollar General Store parking lot with ran over potato chip bags and hot sauce packets. And a man person drove up in a golf cart. I knew he looked suspicious from the start. And as he went inside, I planted myself in the trash. I was not moving until this golf cart man person with no golf clubs came out. That was upsetting from the start. But. Then. If you can imagine this, and I know that you can, he came out carrying…orange. Soda. Y’all.
Girl Person saw it. Deputy Digby saw it. And Girl Person looked at me. Because of me, because of my diligence in policing, I had finally, after all of these years found out who had all of the orange soda.
Girl Person said that she was all of a sudden real thirsty. She said that she had always thought it was her fault that they drank all of their soda so fast. But then I asked her. Does Deputy Digby still enjoy those pancakes he eats so fast? He sure does. Did she enjoy that soda, even though it didn’t last forever? She did. You see, even if something good can’t last forever, it doesn’t take away how good it is when you have it. You can’t always wonder if the sweet things in life will be there tomorrow. Enjoy them while you can. And for goodness sake. Don’t tell the same story over and over. Live another one. Or, chase down that golf cart man person with his soda and tell him that he better enjoy it. He’s got something special there. But does he know it? Do you know it?
Tell me something good (oh, tell me, tell me, tell me)
Tell me that you like it, yeah, yeah
We made it to this Tampa place by the way. The RV didn’t want to, but we are parked here for now! Keep up with our Facebook page for updates!
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle
Shop till you drop? Nah, just shop our online store while sipping your orange soda!
One thought on “The Mystery Of The Orange Soda”
Awesome. It’d be like me with Root Beer!!! Can’t get enough!!! Hilarious blog, I’m so glad you got to your destination, and my Mother loved her some Chaka Khan, so thank you!!! Enjoy your stay, Family, you deserve it!!! I have to go *GASP* shovel a ton of snow, I’m not happy. Wish I was there with you!!!! xoxoxo <3 <3 <3 <3