This is Fruitycake.
I have decided that I need some house rules.
Not for my actual house.
I already have those.
Don’t touch my food.
Don’t sit in my spot.
Don’t expect me to move just because you got there first.
And if there is pizza involved, all previous rules are subject to change.
No. I’m talking about internet house rules.
Because apparently, somewhere along the way, people got the idea that if you put something on the internet, you are required to stand there while complete strangers throw tomatoes at you.
And not even good Italian tomatoes.
Girl Person has struggled with this for a long time.
When someone leaves a mean comment, she reads it.
Then she thinks about it.
Then she thinks about why they said it.
Then she wonders if she should answer.
Then she worries that deleting it would be wrong.
Then she worries that blocking them would be mean.
Meanwhile, I have completed three naps.
So I have taken over this department.
Welcome to Fruitycake’s House Rules.
HOUSE RULE #1: Disagreement Is Allowed
You do not have to agree with us.
Really.
You can think Girl Person made the wrong decision.
You can think I should eat fewer snacks.
Actually, scratch that one.
But you can disagree.
You can ask questions.
You can have another opinion.
You can even say, “I don’t think I would have done that.”
That’s called conversation.
And conversation is welcome here.
HOUSE RULE #2: CRUELTY TOWARD ANIMALS IS NEVER TOLERATED
This rule does not have a gray area.
Hurtful comments about me—or ANY animal—will never be tolerated here.
Not as a joke.
Not because you disagree with something we’ve done.
Not because you don’t like a particular animal.
And definitely not because you think hurting someone’s feelings by insulting the animal they love is an effective way to make your point.
Animals don’t ask to be on the receiving end of human anger.
They don’t understand social media arguments.
They don’t have agendas.
They aren’t responsible for decisions their people make.
And they should NEVER be used as weapons to hurt another person.
So if you insult me, make fun of me, wish something bad upon me or say something deliberately cruel about another animal we share here, you don’t get a warning.
Delete. Block.
Because this page exists for animals.
We have spent years telling people that every animal matters.
We’re certainly not going to allow someone to walk into our community and suggest otherwise.
And there’s something else I want you to remember.
The animal you’re making fun of may be someone’s entire world.
They may be the reason that person gets out of bed.
They may have sat beside them through grief, illness, loneliness or the worst year of their life.
You have absolutely no idea what that animal means to the person reading your words.
Around here, animals are safe.
All of them.
That’s not censorship.
That’s a house rule.
And this is Fruitycake’s house.
HOUSE RULE #3: Cruelty Is Not An Opinion
“You’re wrong” is an opinion.
“You’re a terrible person” is an attack.
Those aren’t the same thing.
And we aren’t going to pretend they are anymore.
If your purpose is to embarrass someone, hurt someone, insult someone or get a bunch of other people to pile on them, Fruitycake’s House Rules are very simple:
Delete.
There will be no committee meeting.
There will be no appeal.
There will not even be snacks served.
HOUSE RULE #4: You Don’t Get Unlimited Chances To Be Unkind
This is the one Girl Person has the hardest time with.
She thinks everyone deserves another chance.
And maybe they do.
But another chance at life doesn’t necessarily mean another chance to comment on our page.
Some people never say anything terrible enough that you can point to one comment and say, “THAT’S IT!”
Instead, every comment is a little jab.
A little accusation.
A little correction.
A little attempt to make someone feel stupid.
And eventually you realize something.
Every time this person’s name appears, your stomach drops.
That’s information.
So here’s the rule:
Chronic negativity can get blocked too.
HOUSE RULE #5: We Protect The Quiet People Too
When someone leaves a nasty comment, we tend to think the interaction is between the commenter and us.
But it isn’t.
Thousands of other people may read it.
Someone who was going to leave an encouraging comment may decide not to.
Someone having a terrible day may read it.
Someone who has already been bullied may see everyone piling onto another person and quietly leave.
That’s why moderation isn’t only about protecting the creator.
It’s about protecting the community.
One mean comment can become two.
Two can become ten.
And suddenly the loudest, angriest people in the room have decided what kind of room it is.
Nope.
Not Fruitycake’s room.
HOUSE RULE #6: Delete Quietly
We do not need to announce:
“ATTENTION EVERYONE! I HAVE BLOCKED SUSAN!”
Poor Susan.
Maybe Susan just needs a sandwich.
We don’t know.
Delete it.
Block if necessary.
Continue with your day.
You don’t have to win the argument.
You don’t have to get the last word.
You don’t have to convince someone who has already decided not to understand you.
Sometimes the healthiest response is no response at all.
Click. Gone.
Look at that.
We survived.
HOUSE RULE #7: Before You Comment, Remember There Is A Person On The Other Side
Behind every account is a life you know almost nothing about.
Someone may be struggling.
Someone may be grieving.
Someone may be exhausted.
Someone may be taking care of an animal who needs them.
Someone may already have heard more unkind words that day than they can handle.
And your comment might be one tiny thing in their day.
Or it might be the thing they remember all night.
So before you hit “Post,” ask yourself:
Do I need to say this?
And if I do…
Can I say it without deliberately hurting someone?
Because kindness doesn’t mean agreement.
Kindness doesn’t mean pretending everything is wonderful.
Kindness means remembering that the person on the other side of the screen is still a person.
And kindness means remembering something else too:
Never hurt someone’s animal to hurt the person.
Ever.
THE FINAL HOUSE RULE
Girl Person asked me, “But Fruitycake, what if people say we’re censoring them?”
I stared at her.
Because sometimes Girl Person asks very complicated questions that have very simple answers.
This isn’t the government.
It’s Fruitycake’s page.
Nobody has been imprisoned.
You have simply lost commenting privileges with a dog on the internet.
You’ll be okay.
So from now on, we’re going to try something different.
We will listen to criticism.
We will answer genuine questions.
We will admit when we’re wrong.
We will welcome different opinions.
But we will not provide a permanent front-row seat to people whose only contribution is making someone else feel worse.
Disagree? Stay.
Question us? Stay.
Teach us something? Please stay.
Be consistently cruel? There’s the door.
Say something deliberately hurtful about Fruitycake or another animal? You already went through it.
And don’t worry.
I’ll close it behind you.
Fruitycake
P.S. From Fruitycake: If you’d like to help us today, I would be VERY happy to accept a treat. I mean, we are talking about Fruitycake’s House Rules, and I believe treats should be mandatory.
But seriously, we could really use some help right now. We need my supplies, fuel to keep the fans running with another heat wave coming, and groceries tomorrow for the persons and me. Even a few dollars toward one of those things makes a difference and reminds Girl Person that we aren’t doing all of this alone.
🐾 Our Necessities: www.tinyurl.com/2tdnecessities
💙 Venmo: @travelingdogs2
❤️ Join us on Patreon for $5/month: www.patreon.com/2travelingdogsrescue
And if you can’t help financially, please keep showing up with your kind words, shares and encouragement. Those are supplies too—just a different kind.
Love,
Fruitycake 🐾
