This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. First of all…Louisiana? It’s been real. Real hard. Breaking down numerous times, frostbite, and running from alligators has taken it’s toll. We love ya, we really do. But. You. Are. Arrested.
Now, you may think that arrest was a long time coming. And oh, it was. But when the light of the sun coming off the swamp makes you look this good? You have to show some mercy. For a minute.
When we got back on the road Saturday, it was only because Boy Person had worked his butt off, and apparently his frostbitten nose off for days in the rain and cold.
We finally got on the road, and we were going good and feeling pretty good, until we went over a very scary bridge and all of a sudden, the persons regretted their decision not to get any diesel because they were afraid if they stopped, we couldn’t get going again. Water in the lines of this RV has been plaguing us for a year now, and if it gets too low, well, it sputters and won’t move…even if you are in the middle of the highway in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. As the RV struggled to keep going, Girl Person started praying out loud, Boy Person told her to stop that, that other people needed help more, she started freaking out, Deputy Digby tried to jump in the front seat, and I, just, paniced. How we made it to that gas station, we will never know…and as we stopped, the RV let out the biggest sigh you have ever heard, and we thought we were done. Literally. But somehow again, Boy Person got us moving, and we questioned whether we were going to make it at all to camp. We were so tired. We struggled for hours as it overheated, but we finally made it. Barely. The alligators had a welcome sign for us at our picnic table in the swamp.
Now. That is that, and all that is boring. You would think that after all of this time on the road that my good looks could have gotten us further faster. Literally. And I began to wonder. Had I in fact been working it enough?
I’m just a gigolo and everywhere I go
People know the part I’m playing
Paid for every dance, selling each romance
Ooh, and they’re sayin’
You see, this Big Blue Treat Wagon RV and our Jeep are both trying to quit on us. We do know that they have had a rough time with all this traveling across the country twice now, and they have worked very hard. But these skinny legs ain’t gonna get us home, and Deputy Digby’s tree stump legs ain’t either. So I thought, hey. You know, I have never charged for the privilege of gazing at my handsome. But maybe I should start. And just as I thought that…there was a knock on the door yesterday. Which interrupted my beauty sleep by the way.
There she was. A picture of refreshment in this cold, Louisiana swamp. There she was. She had read my mind. She came with a foil covered paper plate from heaven. Yes…she knew what it was going to take to get us home to that Florida place. Sweet payment for my handsome face on her phone, her computer screen, and yeah, probably framed on her mantle.
Won’t some sweet mama come and take a chance with me?
‘Cause I ain’t so bad
You see, when you are at your lowest point, and wondering how you can keep going, that seems to be when the sweetest things happen. Someone tells you that you are doing a good job, that you are loved, that you are appreciated.
Sometimes, life on the road can get pretty lonely.
I ain’t got nobody
Nobody cares for me
Nobody cares for me
I’m so sad and lonely
Oh lonely, oh lonely, lonely, lonely
And sometimes, when your house on wheels keeps trying to tell you it is tired, you wonder if you are ever gonna get home. And if my looks could get us there, honey, we would have been there five days before yesterday. But we found out what we needed more than a big bank account, possessions, or even new cars. We needed to be told we were appreciated and that we had made a difference. Deputy Digby just needed the muffins.
To take time out of your day to tell someone that they are appreciated is not something that many of us find easy. Maybe that is why I only get about a hundred fan letters a day. But your simple words of praise, or bringing someone a banana nut muffin may give them the energy that they need to keep going. For us, we are going to try today to make it to our first stop in that Florida place. Do we think that the RV will make it? We certainly have our doubts. But we have to try. First of all, because alligators may get us. But second of all, we are now powered on banana nut muffins today. And we think that maybe, just maybe, we can do it.
Now. Question. Do I work it enough? I am thinking no. I realize it takes no effort on my part to look this good, so maybe if I turn on the handsome, power it up along with those muffins today, we will get to that Florida place. Are you with us?
At some point in our lives, all of us will have our choices taken away from us. That trip you want to go on? Maybe you won’t be able to go. That person you have been meaning to call but don’t have time? They may not answer tomorrow. That new job or new project you have wanted to start? The opportunity may be gone. So don’t wait. Work it. Be a gigolo! Praise others. Keep going. Make it sweet while you can.
And there will come a day when youth will pass away
What will they say about me?
When the end comes, I know
They was just a gigolo
Life goes on without me
–Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle