Just A Gigolo…Everywhere I Go

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. First of all…Louisiana? It’s been real. Real hard. Breaking down numerous times, frostbite, and running from alligators has taken it’s toll. We love ya, we really do. But. You. Are. Arrested.

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Now, you may think that arrest was a long time coming. And oh, it was. But when the light of the sun coming off the swamp makes you look this good? You have to show some mercy. For a minute.

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When we got back on the road Saturday, it was only because Boy Person had worked his butt off, and apparently his frostbitten nose off for days in the rain and cold.

We finally got on the road, and we were going good and feeling pretty good, until we went over a very scary bridge and all of a sudden, the persons regretted their decision not to get any diesel because they were afraid if they stopped, we couldn’t get going again. Water in the lines of this RV has been plaguing us for a year now, and if it gets too low, well, it sputters and won’t move…even if you are in the middle of the highway in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. As the RV struggled to keep going, Girl Person started praying out loud, Boy Person told her to stop that, that other people needed help more, she started freaking out, Deputy Digby tried to jump in the front seat, and I, just, paniced. How we made it to that gas station, we will never know…and as we stopped, the RV let out the biggest sigh you have ever heard, and we thought we were done. Literally. But somehow again, Boy Person got us moving, and we questioned whether we were going to make it at all to camp. We were so tired. We struggled for hours as it overheated, but we finally made it. Barely. The alligators had a welcome sign for us at our picnic table in the swamp.

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Now. That is that, and all that is boring. You would think that after all of this time on the road that my good looks could have gotten us further faster. Literally. And I began to wonder.  Had I in fact been working it enough?

I’m just a gigolo and everywhere I go
People know the part I’m playing
Paid for every dance, selling each romance
Ooh, and they’re sayin’

You see, this Big Blue Treat Wagon RV and our Jeep are both trying to quit on us.  We do know that they have had a rough time with all this traveling across the country twice now, and they have worked very hard.  But these skinny legs ain’t gonna get us home, and Deputy Digby’s tree stump legs ain’t either.  So I thought, hey.  You know, I have never charged for the privilege of gazing at my handsome.  But maybe I should start. And just as I thought that…there was a knock on the door yesterday.  Which interrupted my beauty sleep by the way.

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There she was.  A picture of refreshment in this cold, Louisiana swamp.  There she was.  She had read my mind.  She came with a foil covered paper plate from heaven. Yes…she knew what it was going to take to get us home to that Florida place.  Sweet payment for my handsome face on her phone, her computer screen, and yeah, probably framed on her mantle.

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Won’t some sweet mama come and take a chance with me?
‘Cause I ain’t so bad

You see, when you are at your lowest point, and wondering how you can keep going, that  seems to be when the sweetest things happen.  Someone tells you that you are doing a good job, that you are loved, that you are appreciated.

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Sometimes, life on the road can get pretty lonely.

I ain’t got nobody
Nobody cares for me
Nobody cares for me
I’m so sad and lonely
Oh lonely, oh lonely, lonely, lonely

And sometimes, when your house on wheels keeps trying to tell you it is tired, you wonder if you are ever gonna get home.  And if my looks could get us there, honey, we would have been there five days before yesterday.  But we found out what we needed more than a big bank account, possessions, or even new cars.  We needed to be told we were appreciated and that we had made a difference.  Deputy Digby just needed the muffins.

To take time out of your day to tell someone that they are appreciated is not something that many of us find easy.  Maybe that is why I only get about a hundred fan letters a day.  But your simple words of praise, or bringing someone a banana nut muffin may give them the energy that they need to keep going.  For us, we are going to try today to make it to our first stop in that Florida place.  Do we think that the RV will make it?  We certainly have our doubts.  But we have to try.  First of all, because alligators may get us.  But second of all, we are now powered on banana nut muffins today.  And we think that maybe, just maybe, we can do it.

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Now.  Question.  Do I work it enough?  I am thinking no.  I realize it takes no effort on my part to look this good, so maybe if I turn on the handsome, power it up along with those muffins today, we will get to that Florida place.  Are you with us?

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At some point in our lives, all of us will have our choices taken away from us.  That trip you want to go on? Maybe you won’t be able to go.  That person you have been meaning to call but don’t have time? They may not answer tomorrow.  That new job or new project you have wanted to start?  The opportunity may be gone.  So don’t wait. Work it.  Be a gigolo! Praise others.  Keep going.  Make it sweet while you can.

And there will come a day when youth will pass away
What will they say about me?
When the end comes, I know
They was just a gigolo
Life goes on without me

–Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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And THAT Is Why Dogs Aren’t Allowed.

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. First things first and not second. Welcome to this Montana place!

Montana is state #45 on the Adventure Of A Lifetime. It is hard to believe I know. But do you know what else is hard to believe? That I haven’t made an arrest in awhile. But that all changed yesterday in this Montana place. First day in Montana. First arrest. And let me tell you, it is one that I was proud to make and proud to tell you about. Because I am mad. Real mad. And I don’t get mad every day. Actually, I do. But I am madder than usual.

Here is goes. Stay with me here. Many people have heard of Yellowstone National Park.

As furkids, we really don’t know about it. So when we drove thru there yesterday, the persons were excited. We saw what the persons told us were Grizzly Bears. We saw many different animals, and some especially large ones called Bison.

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But, as dogs, we were not allowed to get out at many places the persons were. We weren’t allowed on any trails. And generally, we could only go where a car could go according to the Rangers. I wasn’t happy about it, but I still got to see many cool things from the car.

And the persons definitely took note of what they were allowed to do too.

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This all worked for us. Why? Because we follow the rules where we go. We want other people to be able to bring their furkids, and not ruin it for everyone. But what we saw made me get out my Sheriff badge, my Sheriff hat, and my Sheriff attitude. All. At. Once.

First, let me give you some background. A lot of times we post videos and you see us in our harnesses and on a leash. Some people will inevitably ask, “why are your dogs on a leash? Let them run free.”

First of all, no. And second of all, no. And third. They must have missed the blog about Deputy Digby running away. And they must not know when you travel, and you are supposed to give rescue dogs a good name, that you have to be an example. You have to read the signs. Or as Deputy Digby does, pee on the signs.

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You have to be on a leash to be respectful, not only to the campground, but to other campers too and their dogs. So I was already irritated when this arrest occurred. Because I knew. Persons just weren’t getting it! Am I being blunt? That is all I know how to be.

As we were driving thru the National Park, we were looking out for animals. We all of a sudden saw a herd of those bison big boys. And we were admiring them, and Deputy Digby was smelling them and wishing he smelled that bad. Then. All of a sudden, another animal came into view, running across the field at the herd of bison. The herd of bison were probably at least fifty in number, and they were a majestic sight to behold. I was actually kind of jealous for a moment at their beauty, but then I remembered my morning stare at myself in the mirror. I also remembered that I smelled better. But then, my thoughts were interrupted. Boy Person asked Girl Person what kind of animal that was running at the bison. And Girl Person all of a sudden said, “that’s a dog!!!. We were all speechless and barkless. What. Was. Happening. What should we do?  Girl Person was about to jump out of the car and save the dog.  But then…

As we drove closer, we not only saw a dog, but we saw his persons…taking pictures and filming their dog running at the bison. At the herd of bison! In the National Park! In Yellowstone National Park, the first National Park.

This is a place of refuge for animals. It is one of safety, of beauty, of peace and of balance. And all of this was very disrespectfully being ignored, all for a moment on camera. This was a moment of disrespect we were appalled at. Not only were the bison in danger, but the dog was in danger, passerby vehicles were in danger, and the disrespectful tourists were in danger. My badge was out. And I knew, THIS was the reason that dogs were not allowed in many places here. Disrespectful people? YOU. ARE. ARRESTED.

As the dog ran towards the bison, the bison ran.  They panicked and went into a commotion that I would never wish to see again.  As we stopped helpless, and in shock, the tourist persons decided to call their dog back.  They realized others were watching them, and surprisingly, the dog came back.  Was it the dogs fault? You know it was not.  As animals, we have instincts.  As animals, we are placed in situations that we normally would not be in to live in a world with persons.  Do we want to be on leashes all the time? No. We do not, and I will be the first to tell you that.  But.  To be allowed in a National Park that other animals call home and that we are guests in, the least we can do is follow the rules.  Not just dogs, but persons.  What we witnessed was the reason that dogs are not allowed in many places.  And it is my job to tell you tourists.  YOU. ARE. ARRESTED.

If persons would like their dogs to be with them all the time, that is understandable.  But we have to remember a few things.  And as a dog, I am telling you this, so do not be offended.  I am also a Sheriff as well, so listen.

  1.  Follow the rules! Use a leash. Pick up after your dog. Why do I even have to tell you this?
  2. Obviously, don’t let your dog chase a herd of bison.
  3.  Don’t assume every dog wants to say hello to your dog.  Ask. Keep a distance. Have respect. Would YOU want to say hello to everyone you passed?
  4. When you get to a place that says your dog can come, still ask questions. Make sure where you are allowed to go.  Show that you respect the rules, and it will make it easier for the next furkids.
  5. As persons, don’t put your dogs in situations that he or she should not be in. Know your dog’s personality and comfort level.  And again. Don’t take off the leash and let it run after bison.

I am so exhausted from being shocked at this whole occurrence that I can only say, Montana? Thanks for the welcome and the wake up!  As Sheriff, I am back on duty. We are ready for a great week, and today we will be heading towards West Glacier, Montana.  Then Wednesday, we will be visiting Glacier National Park.  Stay tuned!  I am ready to make more arrests, but I hope I don’t have to.

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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