Stranger Danger In Every Language

This is Fruitycake.

Before today’s blog begins, I have to remind you that the full weekday blogs, our audio blogs read by Girl Person and me and much more are on Patreon for only $5 a month. Right now, that support is more important to 2 Traveling Dogs than it has ever been. If our stories make you laugh, think, feel less alone or remember to look twice at a rescue dog, please don’t wait for someone else to join. We truly need you there, and $5 a month helps my persons keep doing this work and building what comes next. You can join us at www.patreon.com/2travelingdogsrescue.

This is Fruitycake. Now. I would like to discuss stranger danger, because apparently stranger danger is universal. It does not require Google Translate, an Italian lesson or one of those little books containing useful phrases like Where is the train station? and Why did I accidentally order six pounds of cheese? Sometimes stranger danger simply requires a dog.

Girl Person and I were hiking in the woods when we noticed a man behind us on the path. At first, there was nothing particularly remarkable about this because other persons are technically permitted to use hiking trails, despite my repeated objections. But he kept following us. We walked, he walked. We went farther down the path, and he kept coming. Girl Person noticed him, and I noticed that Girl Person noticed him, which meant I began paying considerably more attention to this man than I had been paying to the smells on the ground. Please understand the significance of this sacrifice.

Eventually, we thought we had gotten far enough away from him, but we had not. Suddenly, he jumped up seemingly out of nowhere and startled Girl Person. I did not appreciate this. He told her he was lost and started showing her his phone, saying something about his GPS and trying to get her to come closer to him to look at it. Girl Person stayed where she was and tried to tell him where the path went from a distance, but he kept trying to lure her closer. Come look at this. Come over here. Look at my phone. Girl Person didn’t move toward him, but apparently he wasn’t getting the message.

So I put my paw down. Literally and figuratively.

I moved in front of Girl Person and made it extremely clear that the informational portion of this encounter had concluded. When he moved toward her again, I lunged toward him. I did not need Italian. I did not need English. I did not need Google Translate. I spoke fluent NO, and apparently he understood Fruitycake perfectly because he finally went away.

Now, maybe he really was lost. Maybe he truly wanted directions. We will never know, and that’s actually not the point. Girl Person didn’t owe a stranger closeness because he asked for it. She didn’t have to ignore the feeling telling her to keep her distance because she was worried about appearing rude, and she certainly didn’t have to move closer simply because someone kept asking. And I wasn’t worried about appearing rude whatsoever. I am Fruitycake. Rude is occasionally included in the service package.

Later, I kept thinking about today’s affirmation: September 23 | Cleaning Out Individuals Who Make You Feel Less Than Makes Space For Those Who Add To The Best Parts Of You. Today’s affirmation says, I will release people who repeatedly make me feel less than. The space they leave can welcome those who strengthen the best parts of me. I deserve relationships built on respect, safety and mutual care. I will not shrink to keep someone else comfortable.

Say it out loud. Especially that last part: I will not shrink to keep someone else comfortable.

Because making ourselves smaller doesn’t only happen in long relationships or friendships. Sometimes we make ourselves smaller for complete strangers. We stay quiet because we don’t want someone to think we’re rude. We tolerate something that makes us uncomfortable because we don’t want to make a scene. We allow someone to cross a boundary because we’re more concerned about their feelings than the little voice inside us saying that something isn’t right. But Girl Person didn’t owe that man her trust, and she certainly didn’t owe him proximity. She could help him from a distance, and when he didn’t respect that distance, she was allowed to stop helping altogether.

Maybe that’s part of cleaning out what makes us feel less than too. It isn’t always some dramatic goodbye to a person you’ve known for twenty years. Sometimes it’s simply deciding that your comfort, your boundaries and your safety matter just as much as someone else’s. It’s leaving space around yourself for the people who respect that space without being asked ten times. Those are the people who add to the best parts of you because they don’t require you to become a smaller version of yourself in order to accommodate them.

There are people who make you feel stronger, safer and more yourself, and there are people whose presence makes something inside you whisper, Move away. You are allowed to listen to that voice. And if you happen to have a rescue dog standing beside you who suddenly plants all four paws on the ground and says absolutely not, perhaps listen to him too.

I may not understand GPS. I may not understand why Girl Person insists pizza crust isn’t an appropriate breakfast food. But I understand Girl Person, and nobody gets to make her feel like she has to become smaller just to make them comfortable. Not in English. Not in Italian. Not in any language.

So say it out loud today: I deserve relationships built on respect, safety and mutual care. I will not shrink to keep someone else comfortable. And should you require a translator, I am available. My current rate is one pizza per growl.

Fruitycake.

P.S. This is an especially important time for our little family and for 2 Traveling Dogs. My persons are working hard to build This Is…Me — Seen. Believed. Rescued., our new project to verify real shelter animals, tell their real stories and help them get in front of the people who may be able to change their lives. If you believe in what we’ve been doing all these years and want us to be able to keep doing it, please consider joining Patreon for $5 a month at www.patreon.com/2travelingdogsrescue, sponsoring a real This Is…Me rescue dog for $35 at www.paypal.com/ncp/payment/Q56YEJJTKXY96, helping with our necessities at www.tinyurl.com/2tdnecessities or sending support through Venmo at travelingdogs2. If you can’t help financially, please share our work and our This Is…Me dogs. Every share puts another real rescue animal in front of another real person, and sometimes that’s exactly how somebody finally gets seen.