This is Deputy Digby Pancake.  It’s true that Sheriff Brickle does all of the arresting around here.  But I do have the option of recommending certain arrests.  Such was the case today.  And I am not sorry for it.

There we were, hiking.  Imagine that.  It was a brisk morning and quiet on the trails. Not many persons and furkids are as crazy as us to hike so early in the cold.  Well, it’s not my fault they don’t wake up to the smell of pancakes every morning.  But there we were and all of a sudden we heard it. Banging, banging, loud banging.  Even Girl Person stopped on the trail and told us to be still for a moment.  No problem there.  I was trying to decide whether to run or run faster away from this trail but I had to discern which way I was running.  We stood there and I saw the look of alarm on Sheriff Brickle’s face.  I don’t like this look.  At all.

So Girl Person all of a sudden told us to look up.  Ok, should I? I saw Brickle look up and then he looked disgusted. Then he looked at me and I knew I should look up too.  There it was, a big bird banging its head and its beak into a tree?  Are you crazy or something bird? Do you know how loud you are?  Are you not afraid that you are gonna knock your brains out or something?

Girl Person said it was called a woodpecker and that it was a very big woodpecker and that we should admire it.  Admire it? Seriously? I am not going to bang nothing in a tree unless there is pancakes in there and I doubt they would be good pancakes if they were in there anyway.  Wait a minute..yes they would be!!! Maple syrup comes from trees and pancakes growing inside of trees?  I bet that is what the woodpecker was doing. Now I am mad, that woodpecker is taking all the pancakes. I have finally figured this out.  Brickle has always told me pancakes don’t grow on trees.  Liar! I am recommending instead of the woodpecker that Brickle is arrested today!!! Do you agree? Citizens arrest! Citizens arrest!

-Deputy Digby Pancake