This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. And I am highly offended at my persons this morning. Highly. And…they. Are. Arrested.
Why am I starting off my day with an arrest already? Usually that doesn’t happen before noon. Unless Digby snores. Ok, so it always happens before noon. Anyway, that is not my point. I am arresting the persons because they went out last night with other persons and I had to wait. And wait. And wait some more. Girl Person’s excuses aren’t even going to lighten her punishment. No way, no how. Peanut butter cookies would however.
Girl Person said they had to go out where dogs aren’t allowed. First mistake. What kind of place is that?! Then Girl Person said it was their friends’ anniversary or something and I could care less. Honesty is the best policy and I said it. Girl Person says that they had to go somewhere that served fancy schmancy drinks and fancy schmancy clothes were worn drinking them. Ugh, Digby brought up the point that food is always better than drinks and that unless you are wearing comfy clothes or none at all in fact, food always tastes better at home. So why persons, why?
Girl Person said that the whole time all she wanted to do was get home to us boys, throw on her pajamas and talk to a bottle of wine. Yeah, that’s a normal night. She said that she was sorry for keeping us up waiting and that she would make it up to us. She said that an extra mile would be tacked on to our hike today. Seriously? I was up all night waiting for my matzo and now you are making me walk MORE? She has lost it. Could be that she talks to wine. You persons make no dern sense. The VIP section of your fancy schmancy person place with fancy schmancy drinks and fancy schmancy shoes would be better with dogs. Just sayin. Don’t let it happen again. Why would you do that?!
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle