I seem to always write looking back. Perspective after you have been thru something or after you have made a decision is valuable. But writing down what you are going thru in the moment is difficult…because you realize the place you are in. And it may seem impossible to address the doubts, worry and anxiety. Yes, that is where I am right now. Right now.
We made the decision months ago to purchase a home in Italy. We saw the home online after looking for years in the United States and elsewhere. Nothing ever seemed to work out for us, and yet, when we saw this home, we both said immediately that it was our house.
And we moved forward with plans, cancelling of plans and remaking plans. We booked our trip over the Italy with our dogs on a ship. We sold our truck, we gave back our RV to a sponsor. We cleaned out our storage unit of stuff we had held onto for almost a decade. And we stared staying in Airbnbs until our ship voyage and we started our journey to that little house we love.
But last week, even though everything was set, I started thinking a bit differently. I don’t have any doubts that I will love the house. But my worries centered around my dogs again. How was the path to the actual house? Would they be comfortable once we got there? Would they be safe? Would this be fun for them? As persons, we can make it thru a lot. But dogs don’t always know the ins and outs of situations and the immediate moment. I knew one of us had to go over there and make sure that they would be ok. So I said goodbye to my husband at the airport Monday.
We have already spent funds on this dream. And yet, that is secondary to me. We have to make this a fun experience for our dogs and they are our number one priority. Can we redo this house? Oh, yes. Yes, we can. We are determined. We are passionate about what we love. And we love to work together to make the impossible possible. But in the midst of this decision, by the hour, it is stressful. I feel like my whole life is dependent on this decision. I want to prove it to myself I am strong to do this and to realize my dream. But I also want to show others that they can achieve their dreams too with their dogs and pets with them. When you are a family, you don’t leave anyone behind. You fulfill each other. And you make life wonderful for each other. All of this is possible. But can I do this? How do we do this in the right way? The day today has not started off that good.
I don’t know all of the answers right now. All I do know is that my husband is there now. It took him two days to get to Italy after many debacles and missed flights. He took the half mile trek up the house this morning and lost two shoes in the process. I don’t know all of the details right now. But I am keeping calm. Yes, I am praying because that is what I believe in. And I am trying to reach within me to trust my heart. That seems to be the hardest part of all of this. What is in my heart?
As we make our way thru this decision and this journey of our life, we try to remember that nothing in this life has to be permanent. Sometimes we do make wrong decisions, or decisions we have to revisit and rethink. There is no doubt I picture us and our dogs in that little house in Italy. Now…will this work? Stay tuned.
Rachael
