It’s Make It or Break It Time. Apparently, Everything Chose Break.

On By 2 Traveling DogsIn dog blog

This is Fruitycake. Before I explain why I believe our house is deliberately trying to sabotage our departure from this Italy place, I want to invite you to join us on Patreon for just $5 a month at www.patreon.com/2travelingdogsrescue. That’s where we share our weekday blogs and audio stories, along with the behind-the-scenes reality of our lives and rescue mission. Right now, your support is helping us work toward our return to America and the next chapter of 2 Traveling Dogs. If you’re already a member, please consider increasing your pledge, even a little. We are at a make-it-or-break-it moment, and apparently every mechanical object at Under The Crow has voted for the second option.

This is Fruitycake. The generator broke. There. I said it. The generator. The very important machine that provides electricity to our house because we live in the middle of a forest, twenty minutes up a steep walking path, where ordinary conveniences are apparently considered an unnecessary luxury. For years, Boy Person has maintained that generator, coaxed it into cooperation, fed it expensive fuel and occasionally spoken to it in a tone I am not permitted to repeat on a family-friendly blog. And now, just as we are preparing to leave, it has decided that its working days are over. I have personally inspected the situation and concluded that the generator is either broken or extremely offended that it was not consulted about our moving plans.

And it isn’t just the generator. Everything seems to be breaking. Things that have worked for years are suddenly giving up. Things that were already difficult have become more difficult. Every time Girl Person and Boy Person think they have one problem solved, another appears, usually with an expensive price tag attached. We have reached the point where Girl Person is afraid to touch anything because it might fall apart in her hands. I have suggested that she stop touching things altogether and devote her remaining energy to scratching my ears. This seems like a reasonable solution, although it has not been officially adopted.

I think Under The Crow knows we are leaving. I really do. For months, Girl Person and Boy Person have been discussing selling this old place. There have been visits from potential buyers, inspections, reports, architects, emails, lawyers and enough waiting to make a dog question the entire concept of time. And now we have a tentative closing date of November 13. Nothing is guaranteed until the papers are signed, of course, but for the first time, leaving has become something more than an idea. It is becoming real. And perhaps the house has been listening. Perhaps those ancient walls have heard us talking about America and decided to stage one final protest. I would have preferred a heartfelt goodbye. The house seems to prefer mechanical failure.

I suppose I understand why it might be upset. We have been through a lot together. Under The Crow was already old when we arrived, and it has required more patience, strength and determination than any of us could have imagined. Girl Person and Boy Person have carried supplies up this mountain, cleared overgrown paths, battled storms, endured flooding and worked endlessly to keep this place going. There have been days when the beauty of it all made the hardships worthwhile. There have also been days when Girl Person looked at Boy Person and asked why we couldn’t have fallen in love with a nice little apartment above a pizza restaurant. I have never received a satisfactory answer to that question.

Last shirt from Italy get here!

But now, with the possibility of leaving so close, everything feels harder. We still have to live here while preparing to leave. We still need food, fuel, electricity and the ordinary necessities of daily life. At the same time, we have to arrange my veterinary paperwork, update my rabies vaccination, work out how to travel from this Italy place and eventually back to America, and prepare for a house closing that could still change. Every decision depends on another decision, and every expense seems to arrive before the money to pay for it. Girl Person says it feels like trying to build a bridge while standing in the middle of a river. I have suggested swimming, but apparently that does not solve international travel paperwork.

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And here is the part that isn’t funny. Girl Person is exhausted. Boy Person is exhausted. I can see it. I can feel it. There is a particular kind of tiredness that comes from working so hard for so long without knowing when things will finally get easier. It is the kind of tiredness that makes one more broken machine feel like a personal insult. It is not really just about the generator. It is about everything that came before it. Every bill, every worry, every sleepless night, every unexpected expense and every time they have had to figure out how to do something that should have been simple. When the generator stopped working, I think something inside Girl Person wanted to stop working, too.

And that is what worries me most. Not the generator. Not the house. Not even the possibility that my pizza transportation arrangements could be delayed. I worry about my persons. They have spent years telling stories about rescue animals, encouraging people to adopt, helping shelters and trying to make a difference with the resources they have. But right now, just getting there feels like the biggest rescue mission of all.

Sometimes I wonder whether people realize how much effort it takes to keep something going when there is no safety net underneath it. Girl Person and Boy Person work long days, and there is always something else that needs attention. They are not sitting around waiting for someone to make life easier. They are doing everything they know how to do. But there comes a point when determination alone cannot work miracles. There comes a point when even the strongest persons need someone to reach out a hand.

And that brings me to our affirmation for October 29, which seems to have arrived at exactly the right time.

October 29 | I Will Trust Repetition More Than A Sudden Burst

TODAY’S AFFIRMATION

Small actions repeated with care can change a life. I do not need one heroic day. I need practices I can return to when motivation is ordinary.

I think this affirmation explains something important about my persons. They have not kept this place going because of one extraordinary day when they suddenly found enough strength to do everything. They have kept it going by getting up every morning and doing the next necessary thing, even when they were tired, discouraged or unsure whether their efforts were making a difference. One trip carrying supplies up the mountain would not have sustained us here. It took hundreds of trips. One story about a shelter dog would not have made 2 Traveling Dogs what it is. It has taken years of telling stories, sharing faces, asking people to care and believing that every animal matters. One day of determination will not get us back to America either. It will take many small actions, repeated carefully, even on days when all we want to do is sit down and cry into a bowl of pasta.

And perhaps that is what I have been trying to tell Girl Person all along. She keeps looking at the enormous list of everything that must happen before we leave and wondering how she will ever accomplish it. But maybe she doesn’t have to accomplish it all today. Maybe today is about finding out what happened to the generator. Maybe tomorrow is about making another telephone call, arranging another appointment or crossing one more thing off the list. Maybe making it through this difficult time will not involve one grand heroic moment. Maybe it will involve hundreds of ordinary moments when we decide to try again.

I am a dog, so I have a slightly different philosophy about broken things. If my toy breaks, I continue playing with it. If my blanket gets a hole, I consider it an improvement in ventilation. If a stick breaks in half, I now have TWO sticks, which seems like an obvious victory. But I understand that not everything can be fixed by changing how you look at it. Sometimes things really do need repairing. Sometimes the money really does need to be found. And sometimes you have to admit that you cannot do everything by yourself.

There is something especially strange about preparing to leave a place that has meant so much to us while simultaneously struggling to keep it functioning. Under The Crow has given us beautiful memories. It has given us the Museum of Broken Things, ancient mills, olive trees, wild creatures and more lessons about life than Girl Person could possibly fit into one book. It is where we have lived with grief and learned how to keep going. It is where my brother Brickle rests, and knowing that his resting place will be preserved has brought us enormous comfort. This house has been part of our family. But lately, it feels as though it is using every last bit of our strength before letting us go.

I would like to believe that Under The Crow is not really trying to make us miserable. Perhaps it is simply an old house that has reached the end of what we can give it. Perhaps the generator has broken because generators break, and everything else feels worse because we are carrying so much already. But I also wonder whether this place is giving us one final reminder that it is time. Time to stop repairing the same problems. Time to take what we have learned and use it somewhere else. Time to let someone new care for these ancient walls while we go back to the work we came into this world to do.

I don’t know exactly how we will get through the next few weeks. Girl Person doesn’t know either. And Boy Person, who is currently dealing with a generator that has apparently declared its independence, probably has a few opinions of his own. But I know that we have not come this far to give up now. There are animals waiting for us. There are stories still to tell. There are people we haven’t met yet who may need to hear them. And there is a whole new chapter of our rescue mission that deserves a chance to begin.

So yes, it is make-it-or-break-it time. And yes, everything seems to be choosing break.

But we are still choosing make it. Not with one miraculous day that fixes everything, but with one more morning, one more effort, one more small act of determination. And then another. And another. Until someday we look back and realize those ordinary efforts carried us farther than we ever imagined.

And if this house has any further objections to our departure, I would appreciate it submitting them in writing rather than through the electrical system.

Fruitycake

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P.S. From Girl Person: I wish I could say this was all just a funny story about an old generator, but we are facing some very real challenges. Our tentative closing date is November 13, and while we are hopeful, the sale is not final until everything is signed. We have immediate expenses for keeping ourselves going here, getting Fruitycake’s veterinary and travel paperwork completed, and preparing to leave Italy for our next rescue chapter in America. We are trying to do this one step at a time because we simply cannot afford to plan everything at once.

If you believe in our work, in saving animals and in the importance of helping real shelter dogs find homes, we need your support now more than ever. Even a small contribution can help us get through another day and keep our mission moving forward.

Here are ways to help:

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Our 2027 Under The Crow and 2 Traveling Dogs calendars are also available. They are our last calendars from this Italy chapter, filled with memories of a place that has changed our lives.

Thank you for believing in us, especially during the hardest parts of the journey. We want so badly to make it to the next chapter, not just for ourselves, but for the animals who still need us.

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