This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. Illinois? It’s been fun, it’s been exciting and all that. This week has made my deepness run deeper than deep. It has made me feel more emotions than Digby eating all the toppings in your delicious deep dish pizza.
But it’s time to go. On we travel to Missouri. But not without a goodbye to your pizza. Not without a goodbye to your rivers. Not without a goodbye to your animal rescuers at WIAR that we visited.
And not without a goodbye to Mr. Mouse and his wife.
It was a hard week because on the first part of our trip, the mice were trying to kill us. First of all by disguising themselves as only one mouse, jumping out as we were driving this Big Blue Treat Wagon down the road and by jumping on Girl Person’s head in the middle of the night. Then, when we finally caught them and had to reunite them in a far away wooded place, it was 3 in the morning and the persons just about had had enough . But all was worth it in the end because we were able to save them from another state journey, they got a new home in their new woods and Mr. Mouse got rid of his girlfriend that he picked up along the way. We are not sure if Mrs. Mouse forgave him, but that is for them to work out in this Illinois place. I am not a marriage counselor, I am a Sheriff, and unless i need to serve papers, I will stay out of that one.
Then, later on in the week, Girl Person hit her head pretty hard. Not sure how that happened except that I am. Yes, the Deputy and I were on the track of a rabbit which I can only say was a criminal out in the middle of the afternoon. No, I am not from this neck of the woods, but I can only assume he needed arresting. I mean, what if he would have tried to get in the Big Blue Treat Wagon? We don’t need any more hitchhikers. I do my due diligence. So that is my story, yet, Girl Person did not think it was a good one. Apparently, she got a concussion, whatever that is, and Illinois again tried to kill us.
Illinois? We enjoyed our week here despite the mice convicts from Iowa, despite the concussion and despite a hangover from too much pizza. We can see why the people who live here love you so much. Because your friendly spirit, your beautiful hikes and scenery are ones to be remembered.
They say that you never forget an old friend. Well, Mr. Mouse and Mrs. Mouse, you were not an old friend, so I may forget you. But as Sheriff, I sincerely hope that you have a long and healthy life in this Illinois place. I hope you get to eat lots of pizza, have many, many babies and that your infidelities can be forgiven like we forgave you for eating our wires, trying to make Girl Person have a heart attack and for stealing my matzo. Oh, and from falling out of the ceiling light on Boy Person’s head. I don’t need to forgive you for that though. That was dern funny.
Thank you Illinois for a great week! Is everyone coming with us to Missouri? It’s going to be a very long drive today, but on we head to St. Peters, Missouri to find out what’s awesome there and meet some awesome animal rescuers! Let’s do this!
-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle