The Tail Of SlowMo The Sloth And The Very Slow Dance

This 2 Traveling Dogs Furry Tails, Bedtime Stories For Dogs is sponsored by Pet Releaf! Use coupon code 2TD at checkout to save 10% off of your order at www.petreleaf.com

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Once upon a time in a land far, far away, yet close to somewhere, there lived a sloth.

This sloth’s name was Slowmo because he was slow.  Real. Slow. It didn’t take a fast thinker to figure that out!

SlowMo was a very happy sloth! In fact, he was very, very happy! So. Happy! But he wondered quite often whether he was the slowest sloth in this land far, far away, but close to somewhere. He wanted to ask another sloth who was the slowest sloth in this land, but he could never catch up with anyone to ask his question.

One day, SlowMo saw some monkeys in the rainforest. They were playing and jumping and being quite entertaining! Look at them jump! It was a lot of fun to watch them! SlowMo wondered how they learned to jump from tree to tree. They were naturals! But he knew he would never be as good as a monkey at jumping from tree to tree!

The next day after the one day, SlowMo saw some birds flying and singing. Chirp, chirp! Sing, sing! They were excellent singers! Slowmo wondered how they knew all those songs and high notes! But he knew he would never be as good at singing as the birds!

SlowMo wondered why everyone seemed to have a talent, but all he could do was to be slow. Very, very slow! And so he just kept being slow! He would walk slow. He would climb slow. He would eat slow. In fact, it took him many days to eat one meal. That. Was. Slow. But he was happy about it!

One night, SlowMo was feeling slower than usual! He woke up slow. He yawned slow. He stretched very, very slow! He made his way up a tree…very slow! And to his surprise, which came upon him slow, he saw another sloth in the next tree over! The other sloth seemed to be much faster than SlowMo. In fact, he was not paying much attention to SlowMo at all! SlowMo worked up as much courage as he had to ask him one question. He could do this!

“Hellloooo. My name is SlowMo. Can you tell me who is the slowest sloth in this land far, far away, yet close to somewhere?”

The other sloth simply looked at SlowMo and said three words very slow too.

“I…don’t…know.”

SlowMo was very confused. He had finally got to ask his question. And he still had no answer and no confidence! What WAS he good at? Not jumping from tree to tree like the monkeys. Not singing like the birds. What was he to do? He was slow to think about it. And so he saved his worry for the next day. He had plenty of time on his claws.

That next day after one of the days in a land far, far away, yet close to somewhere, SlowMo looked down from his tree.

It seemed like he had been there forever…because he had been there forever. But he saw a snake below. The snake saw him too!

Before SlowMo could say hello, the snake looked up and said, “Hey. SlowMo. I’ve been searching everywhere for you in this land far, far away, yet close to somewhere! I have wanted to ask you a question for a long time. Your reputation is known far and wide, high and low.”

SlowMo started to interrupt the snake, but his words didn’t come out fast enough.

“How did you become so good at slow dancing?”, the snake continued. “I’m a snake and I would like to be as good as you one day. Can you tell me your secret?” SlowMo was confused. He was the very best slow dancer in this land? Others knew about his slow dancing skills? He didn’t know about his slow dancing skills. He just knew he was slow. Yet, he had to tell the snake something. The snake was waiting. And this was important. But all SlowMo could think of to say was “I…don’t…know.”

The snake decided he didn’t have time to find the answer. You see, sloths can live in their trees for years. And he had slithering to do. Plus, he decided to be content with the knowledge that no one would ever be as good at the slow dance as SlowMo the sloth. Nope. It couldn’t be done! So he slithered away to tell all his friends about meeting SlowMo. They would be very impressed!

SlowMo was very happy! He finally knew what he was good at! He still didn’t know if he was the slowest sloth in this land far, far away, yet close to somewhere. But he did know he was the best slow dancing sloth around! Wherever that was. And from that day on, he sang a song to remind himself of how special he was. He was so happy about his song that his words even seemed to come out a little faster!

“I am SlowMo the sloth

I’m slower than a moth!

I can dance all night

And hang upside down,

I don’t need a dance partner

To get around!

I dance real slow,

And slower than slow,

But maybe it’s because

I have nowhere to go!

A very slow dance

Is what I do,

I’ve got the moves

This is true!”

And one day as he was singing his song, two dogs named Peanut Butter Brickle and Digby Pancake walked beneath his tree.

They had come a long way to this land far, far away yet close to somewhere! They wanted to see SlowMo the sloth and watch him dance his slow dance. They had heard of him and wanted his autograph!

SlowMo looked down and did his dance! He just moved real slow! He made it seem so easy! And everyone clapped and clapped!

It was a lot of clapping with so many paws! Applause could be heard throughout this land, and everyone knew who it was for…SlowMo the sloth and the very slow dance! SlowMo had spent all his life wondering what he was good at when he was the best at something all along!

You see, we all have our own special skill or talent that someone else may look up to us for. Some of us are just slow to recognize how truly special we are!

But after that day, SlowMo practiced his dance all the time! The music in this land played just for him. His very slow dance not only made him happy, but it made others happy too! Slowmo was a very happy sloth! And they all lived happily ever after…in this land far, far away, yet close to somewhere.

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That Dog Can’t Drive 55

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle. You wouldn’t think that traffic would be an issue at a campground. But apparently, no one here seems to know that a Sheriff is in their midst.  Good thing in some ways, because I only have so much of this to go around.

Speeding, changing lanes without a blinker and texting are just the beginning.  My job has been made harder by the ones who are a little more creative with their law breaking skills.  We have little persons on bikes with too many wheels that make too much noise.  We have campers who try to park their houses on wheels in too tight of spaces and think by yelling “stop!” every five seconds that it somehow will improve their parking skills.  We have persons that let their dogs bark at us from their cars, and oh, that makes me madder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory.  I heard that one time. I didn’t laugh then and I am not laughing now.

But the one lawbreaker who takes the cake around here?  That would be the speeding dog.  That dog can’t drive 55 in a 10 miles per hour traffic zone.  

That makes me madder than Digby when dinner is five minutes late. And no one laughs about that.

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Every day, that dog and his person come speeding by here.  Sometimes, they speed down by the beach.  Sometimes, I can imagine they speed anywhere they dern well please.  That dog is on a leash running with his person biking as fast as he can go. We see them coming.  And we barely have enough time to get worked up.  

Girl Person sometimes tries to run away.  Sometimes, she can do nothing but brace herself and tell us in her sternest voice, “DO NOT”. But we do. You can’t order law enforcement.

You see, that dog has a mission.  He is on a mission.  To make me mad.  Well, that dog? A warrant has been issued for your arrest.  One day, I will catch you and I will ask you, “What’s the hurry?”. And you will try to bark yourself out of a ticket, but too late.  I have it all ready for you and I will be faster giving it to you than how fast you think you are going.  Which I will ask you about that too.

Do I need radar?  My radar is broken because you have broken the record of making me madder than a turnip that didn’t fall off the turnip truck.

There is a reason that there are speed limit signs.  You can’t just do what you want to do.  If everyone had no regard for others, what would this world look like? I suppose a lot like it does now, because that is what its about.  If the world we are caught up in and the deadlines we put on ourselves are too much, sometimes we go faster to try and get them done.  But then we can’t see anything around us.  Only ourselves.  So slow down.  You set your pace.  And don’t make others feel bad about how slow they go.

Just move lanes.  And don’t forget your blinker.

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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