This is Deputy Digby Pancake. Question for you on this Friday. Have you ever been taking a shower in the Oklahoma place while naked and a scorpion come crawling up from the drain? Just wondering. Did it look like this, perhaps?
Here we are in Oklahoma. OH, just a few days into our time here. And this is how Oklahoma is treating us? We hear one of your Oklahoma natives is a singer named Garth Brooks, and he even wrote about these friends in low places. We should have known. But friends? With these kind of biting friends, who needs enemies?
I have enough trouble dealing with a striped dog named Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle and don’t really need to deal with a striped Bark Scorpion from Oklahoma.
Oh, but you had different ideas as Boy Person was all naked in your campground prison shower with cold water. You did. Scorpions in Oklahoma? Oh, I guess that’s a surprise.
The last one to know, the last one to show
I was the last one you thought you’d see there
And I saw the surprise, and the fear in his eyes
I am all for one on respecting nature. You know that. I even respect dead things by rolling on them. And Boy Person is even worse than me. He will take an hour to capture a fly in the Big Blue Treat Wagon RV to set it free. So when he was shampooing his hair in the prison shower, he thought he saw a shadow coming up from the drain. He stopped. He wondered. Am I going to die now?
He thought of Girl Person’s bath experience in Hot Springs, Arkansas last week, and thought, well, maybe it was his time for an Oklahoma spa experience scorpion style. After spending all day with the good people and animals at Paws N Ada rescue in Ada, Oklahoma, he was ready to call it a night. But he soon realized this Bark Scorpion must need rescuing. But first, he wondered. Could he die from this? All I wonder is why a scorpion called a Bark Scorpion doesn’t bark. Seems like false advertising. He didn’t make a sound. Only the sound of terror was heard in the campground from Boy Person.
Apparently scorpions like to crawl out of shower drains when you are naked in Oklahoma. We did not know this before we came here. If we had known this fact, we probably would have still came to help the animals here, but I tell ya what. The persons would have thought twice about not showering in this RV to conserve water. I have always said it, and I will say it again. Showers are not a good thing. You will never convince me otherwise. Throw in a barking scorpion coming out of a shower drain, and it makes my point for me. I thought a striped barking Brickle was scary. This bites the butt out of his corndog attitude tail.
Bark Scorpion? The next time you want to crawl up from a shower drain in a camp prison shower, I suggest you make sure who you are scaring. No one else may take an hour to get you out of there as you are biting a napkin. There is only room in this state for one of us. And well…
Well, I guess I was wrong, I just don’t belong
But then, I’ve been there before
Everything’s alright, I’ll just say goodnight
And I’ll show myself to the door
Oklahoma and false advertiser, Bark Scorpion? You have us here until next Tuesday at least. So make room for another barking biter with an attitude, Sheriff Brickle and his Deputy. And you better believe I can bark.
‘Cause I’ve got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases
My blues away
And I’ll be okay
I’m not big on social graces
Think I’ll slip on down to the Oasis
Oh, I’ve got friends
In low places
-Deputy Digby Pancake
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