Don’t Accuse The Squirelly Squirrel

This is Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle.  I am always in an arresting mood.  That is not up for discussion.  Or debate, actually.

But even I recognize that some are falsely accused.  Like Squirelly Squirrel.  Yet, they get taken to court every day.

Now.  Every criminal has a mug shot.  And yet, because Squirelly Squirrel did not actually commit a crime, obviously, I do not have a mugshot.  I don’t even have a cupshot.  But what I do have is a story.  A story of how squirrels, even a Squirelly Squirrel can get accused, every day, of something that they aren’t even doing.  And it has to stop.

“You can’t be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet.”

Now.  First things first.  Squirely Squirrel has taken it upon himself to jump like an acrobat from a tree to the bird feeder hanging off of the side of the motorhome every morning to partake of the bird seed buffet.  Now, you know I am all about the details.  So.  Did you know that seeds are not only meant for birds? Ugh, yeah.  Other animals eat seeds, like the squirrel.  I say the bags are false advertising.  That is like putting on a bag, Brickle Peanut Butter Cookies and saying that no one else should eat those cookies.  Which would be perfect for me, but I am a realist, folks.  That is not going to happen.


The persons watch Squirelly Squirrel every morning with the anticipation of Digby watching pancakes sizzle.  Well, actually, not really.  But it is fun to watch him. Also, we do not have TV.  He usually can’t hold on very long, gets dizzy from hanging upside down, and then knocks the seeds out of the container.  No, he isn’t the most elegant of squirrels, but then, who is he trying to impress? It’s not like he is on Dancing With The Stars. I could be though.

So you may wonder.  If Squirelly Squirrel is trying to take the seeds from the birds, why don’t I arrest him.  But I ask you this.  What if the birds are taking the seeds from the squirrels?  Who are we to say? Are you a lawyer?  I didn’t know if you are.

It amazes me how persons can think of one animal as being as a nuisance, like a squirrel.  But then marvel at watching the birds.  But all animals are amazing.

Have you ever watched a squirrel?  I implore you to do so, and as well, buy us some more seed because he is eating it all.  But I will not complain.  It isn’t like he is taking my Brickle Peanut Butter Cookies.  At least not yet.  You see, squirrels like Squirelly Squirrel have life all figured out.  They live life.  They have fun.  They spend their days eating and sleeping and chasing and climbing trees.  And through it all, it never occurs to them that they may be stealing anything like seeds.

“If we had a keen vision of all that is ordinary in human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow or the squirrel’s heart beat, and we should die of that roar which is the other side of silence.” George Eliot

The normalcy of life and those who live it often goes unnoticed by all of us.  And that my friends is the problem.  No arrests will be made today if you thank a squirrel. Thank a squirrel for reminding you that we all deserve the happiness that we find on this earth, and that each of us equally deserve it.

-Sheriff Peanut Butter Brickle

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