This is Peanut Butter Brickle. With age comes wisdom. With age comes perspective. Age also comes with sadness. Because not everything stays the same. Not even the ones in our lives.
Girl Person had a sad day yesterday. She gets those sometimes. It’s not always for a reason. But yesterday there was a reason. And I knew it. She was missing Digby very hard. Some days it’s in the back of our minds. Some days it’s in the front.
Yesterday, there was no looking past it. It wasn’t going anywhere. And she just had to feel what she felt. And I let her. She lets me.
When you lose someone you love, oh, it can feel like you’re slipping down an empty, endless hole.
It gets different as time goes on to not fall in that hole. Some times you can. But sometimes you slip. Like yesterday.
I try to tell myself a few things when I’m about to slip into that sad hole of missing Digby. I tell myself that yes, I did lose Digby. But I didn’t lose everyone. There are still others to love and who love me. I did not lose everyone.
I also tell myself I did not lose everything. Yes. I lost extra time with him. We should still be together. That’s how I feel. It’s not fair. No. It’s not.
But I did not lose everything. I still have our memories and the time we did have. That doesn’t go away. I still have a reason to live my best life for me and him. I still have so much happiness in my life. Including Fruitycake.
It’s easy to let one sadness overtake the rest of our days. Yes. Days. That’s all any of us have.
The ones we lose mean so much to us. They always will. But letting the sad surround you instead of the good will not being them back. So give yourself back permission to be happy. On the days the hole tries fo make you slip in, fight back. Turn on the light inside you. Embrace the light around you, hugging you. Surrounding you.
And remember you did not lose everyone. You did not lose everything.
You can do more than get thru the sadness. You can rise above it.
–Peanut Butter Brickle
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